4 People You Should Never Trust

    September 26, 2013 at 2:41 am

    Most of the people in this world are total fucking liars. Hopefully, you’ve found a few of the few who are not. Here are four types of people you should never trust under any circumstances.

    This guy trusted his wife, and now look at him. He’s all over the news while she’s out suckling on the pre-pubescent peens of her students.

    People Who Dislike Animals
    A person who doesn’t like animals is not only clueless about the way in which the world works, but is actually inherently evil. Okay, so maybe they aren’t evil as much as they are ignorant and callous. Animals are a pretty important part of this earth. They’ve been around for longer than we’ve known how to talk or draw stuff that isn’t stupid stick figures on a cave wall. We mimic animals in a million ways, from the mating rituals of our everyday lives (what do you think you’re doing when you head out to the club, BRO?) to the way that we create new technology (the army has often studied insects to try and recreate the way in which they fly). If you don’t like animals, you’re way off base and shouldn’t be trusted with just about anything.

    People Who Are Disliked By Animals
    Just like people know things that animals cannot comprehend, animals know things which people don’t. I don’t know what they are, because people don’t know them. Evil people are hated by animals in movies all the time; that’s shit is taken straight from real life. Animals know bad people. You’ve probably even seen it yourself. I don’t trust anyone my dog doesn’t like. If my dog doesn’t like you, I don’t even want you in my house. I might still buy drugs from you, though.

    Car Salesmen
    “Liars” would be a better job title for this group of total dicks. Car salesmen are literally paid to lie their fucking faces off in order to take your money and sell you something that either doesn’t work, which you don’t need or that is totally overpriced. Never trust anything a car salesman says. Ever. It’s untrue that they can’t get another car like the one you want, that that specific color is hard to come by, and that they’re giving you a really good deal. Liars, liars, liars. Never trust them.

    No one is your friend. You are alone in this world and should be looking out for number one at all times. Okay, so that’s only partly true. While you should appreciate your friends for being there for you, and appreciate your family for caring about you, you also need to realize that everyone is ultimately out for themselves and will take care of numero uno before making sure that your needs are met, too. We usually don’t realize this because this unhappy little fact tends to hide, tucked away, until some dire situation puts any relationship to the test and drags it out to rear its ugly head in the light of whatever problem you’re facing. Most of the time, what you find out is something you probably would have chosen to stay ignorant of had you had the chance. Don’t alienate everyone like a total weirdo, but keep in mind that you need to take care of yourself first — no one else is going to do that for you.

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