Why You Should Never Share Your Personal Life With Facebook

    July 9, 2013 at 3:04 am

    This means no posting about breakups, fights, or really infuriating/upsetting moments in your life. Unless you have a serious medical condition you want to discuss with everyone or a message commemorating a deceased friend/family member, leave your drama IRL.

    It’s there forever.

    You probably won’t ever be important enough for the FBI to need to search your deleted pictures and statuses for the picture of that girl you killed plus that status you wrote about killing that girl you killed, but this is one of the rare occasions that I’d say you’re better safe than sorry about. There’s really no need, anywhere or ever, for you to post intimate details about your personal life on Facebook.

    People in your life who are worth sharing information with should hear it first-hand from you, not from a typo-ridden drunken Facebook status.

    You also never know who’s looking at you; maybe you forgot that you added one of your superiors at work, or maybe just the ass-kissing brown noser coworker who secretly has it out for you. Or distant relatives. Or relatives of your friends. Or that creepy guy who has been following you home every night for the past week.

    How many of your “friends” do you actually know, anyway?

    Besides safety, in the name of keeping your Facebook impersonal is the argument that emotional statuses, pictures of drugs, passive aggressive comments, and publicized drama of any kind makes OP look like a total faggot. What I mean is that putting your irrational, dramatic thoughts on Facebook for everyone to see is a reflection of an immature, sort-of-an-asshole person.

    People love to screenshot embarrassing posts and post them in forums dedicated to laughing at drama queens like you, so do yourself a favor and keep it to yourself. Maybe you should make a notebook called “Facebook” and write down everything you would like to publicize but shouldn’t. Oh my god, I’m going to be rich.

    And there’s nothing people like to use against other people more than instances of weakness. Don’t give anyone (friends or friends of friends, who can also oftentimes see your bullshit) anything to bring up later on and hold over your head.

    “Remember that time you called Sally a slut over Facebook and defriended all of her friends? You’re so dumb, dude.”

    Besides, people will like you better. You’ll appear more mysterious, busier, and more interesting if you just leave the details of your personal life off Facebook. You’ll offend less people (though, let’s be honest, who really cares about that?), look less stupid (I’m vain so this is most important to me), and life in general will be better. I promise.

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