Truly Celebrate Independence Day by Becoming a Temporary Slave

    June 19, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Celebrating Independence Day is a great misnomer.  It implies that it is one day a year that people can celebrate their independence, while the rest of the days they slave away to the mechanizations of modern society.  To truly celebrate Independence Day, one must rid themselves of independence for the day and embrace slavery.

    The whole idea of slavery is to forgo one’s personal liberties in lieu of serving an arbitrary and humiliating function. Whereas in the modern world, one needs to communicate clearly and concisely to be a functionable member of society, slaves merely needed to serve functions.  Since slaves were most often denied education and would fall in love with their captors, here are a a few listings of people on Craigslist truly getting into the Independence Day spirit by seeking out temporary slavery via illiteracy.



    In this case, “BBW” stands for Michelle Bachmann

    It’s called sentence structure…

    Looking for Slave

    This would be a 189 word sentence if author included a single period

    and subject verb agreement.



    Either this individual has a distorted sense of smell or is really getting into the spirit of slavery.

    At these rates, why would anybody pay for house cleaners?



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