How to Know if She Wants a Second Date

    May 9, 2013 at 4:30 am

    The first date went well. Or did it? Does she want a second date? Does she want you to text her? Is she taking out a restraining order? How did she feel about your steampunk goggles and brand new fedora? A lot of questions may be burning through your mind after the first date, so here are a few ways you can tell if she wants to see you again or banish you to the furthest depths of her memory.

    Think about how the first date ended. Did she blow you in the back of your parents car? Did she give you a quick peck on the cheek before she walked away? Did she deflect your attempt for a hug with an extended arm and a disgusted look on her face? If either of the first two things, she wants a second date. If the third thing, I wouldn’t count on it.

    At the end of the date, pay attention to her body language. If she seems like she’s standing close to you (or at least not moving away when you move closer), looking with some sort of vague admiration (not to be confused with fear), or gives you any kind of soft touch (squeeze of your hand, rub of your shoulder before departing), you’re pretty much in. Wait at least a few hours, but preferably until the next morning, to message her telling her you had a great time.

    Think about how you left off or, rather, why you left off. Did she make up some bogus excuse and fake a phone call to escape your clutches? Or did you end the date late, or even with her openly wishing it could last longer? If you can’t figure out which of those two behaviors mark a desire for more, you may be destined to spend the remainder of your life in a basement.

    Don’t be a cactus; it will ruin your chances of getting a second date.

    If you’re still confused about her feelings, consider how she texts you. Long dead are the days of phone calls, so she probably isn’t ignoring you completely since everyone knows that everyone has a cancerous tumor that is a smartphone. That is, any person ignoring you knows that you know that they see your messages and are blatantly giving you the cold shoulder.

    And analyzing a girl’s text messages is way harder than figuring out what it means to get someone’s voicemail five times in a row.

    If you’ve asked her to hang out again and she won’t give you a straight answer — she’s busy, she’s not sure when she’s not busy, maybe next week or something — she might not be interested. Wait it out, though, so that you aren’t shitting your pants over a girl who genuinely has a hectic life, and text her again in a few days. If she says she’s maybe possibly sort of up for a second meet up but constantly pushing off actually planning one, she’s uninterested and doesn’t have the balls to tell you so. Let this happen two to three times before giving up. If she’s really just strapped for time but actually likes you, she’ll recognize her own aloofness and be the one to contact you when she has the time.

    You can’t tell from all the spaghetti, but this girl is REALLY busy

    Don’t badger a girl with a subscription to Obsessed Nerd that she never asked for and doesn’t know how to turn off. Very annoying no-no’s include:
    – Texting her the next morning to ‘say good morning.’ She’s not your girlfriend, dude. Save the smothering for later.
    – Sending multiple text messages at once.
    – Continuing to message without getting a reply. You sent her a message at 3pm. She probably got it, but just in case it disappeared into lost-sock land, you send her another around 7 or 8. Still no answer. The next day, you ask: Does she want to hang out? No. No she does not want to hang out with you.
    – Calling immediately after texting.
    – Texting immediately after calling.
    – Sending stuff like ‘?’ or ‘Hellooo?’ or “texty text texterson” when she doesn’t answer. That is definitely not going to make her want to answer you.

    Sometimes, you really just can’t tell what another person is thinking. That’s where fear comes in; you have to take a chance and ask the other person out, risking rejection in the process. This is necessary; some girls are total fucking fakes and will send you smiley faces whilst rolling their eyes behind the screen. Others might seem cold but in reality are just shy and will never make the first move or ask you our because they’re afraid to.

    You basically have to feel it out as you go along. Give it some time after the first date and then express that you would like to see that person again. Suggest an activity for the second date (getting wasted at the museum, stealing ponies from the circus) so that, if she says yes, you’re not both awkwardly like ‘So what do you wanna do?’ ‘IDK LOL What do you want to do?!’

    The soul-crushingly unfulfilling goal of it all
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