4 Reasons Reality Isn’t Real, Maaaan

    November 14, 2012 at 4:30 am

    mc escher

    So you have all these opinions floating around in your head, influenced by what you call “facts.” You think you have a pretty good grip on the world and the way it works. You think you know yourself because of that one time in college you ate from the wrong tray of brownies, and maybe you know a little math. Think again, bozo! Roll up a fat doob of meta and take a deep drag of this:


    Continuum Theorem

    There are at least five (count ’em) famous, world-renowned genius mathematicians who went crazy and died trying to figure out the answer to the continuum hypothesis. It states “There is no set whose cardinality is strictly between that of the integers and that of the real numbers” which makes my brain say “lolwut” and can be broken down for a dunce cap wearing peon such as myself as follows:

    You have a circle (hey, man, that circle ain’t real!). Okay, so you have a drawing of a circle. You have a point in the exact center of that circle. From that point, there is an infinite amount of lines stretching out to the edge of the circle, blacking it out entirely. Does that make sense? The lines are, like, so plentiful (infinite) that the circle turns black with all the lines that can reach from the center point straight to the edge of the circle at every angle.

    Now draw a slightly larger circle around your original circle. Extend each line that has stretched from the center of your original circle to reach the border of your new, larger circle — and now there are gaps. What does it mean?!

    It means that we’re all too stupid to understand that there are different types and sizes of infinities. So when you talk about infinity, you’re talking about one specific infinity in an infinite world of infinities, dude. It also means that fractals are more than just the crazy-ass shapes you see when you’re tripping on acid and your goth friends are casting spells in your living room. The Mandelbrot Sequence also pontificates on the existence of many infinities by proving that there are some mathematical patterns (fractals) that never, ever break down when zoomed in upon — only repeat, and repeat, and repeat, becoming literally infinitely more complex.

    One documentary on the continuum theorem, Dangerous Knowledge, recounts the deadly intellectual journeys of George Cantor, Ludwig Boltzmann, Kurt Godel, and Alan Turing to decipher this mysterious concept and is definitely worth checking out (even though saying that the continuum theorem killed all four of those guys is debatable since Turning was definitely chemically castrated which I’m sure had at least something to do with it). Someone in there likens the existence of many infinities to “climbing a single mountain range only to look out and see before them an infinite amount of mountain ranges in the distance.”


    Naive Realism

    I was lying on a paper-thin mattress on the floor of a strange house, everything coated in cobwebs and PBR cans from the inside out, after a long night of binge drinking and loud music and that 90s movie Candyland. A pale boy with dark hair and shitty tattoos stretched out his fingers in front of my face in the beige light of impending morning, wiggling them like caterpillars. “We perceive things all wrong,” he said in southern drawl, “These little feelers we got are so inadequate at absorbing, at seeing things the way they really are, that we have to remember how skewed our perception of the world is.”

    My self-loathing hipster heart skipped several beats, and not because I am slowly dying of genetic heart problems. He was talking about Naive Realism, and I told him so. He called what I said “hippie shit,” but it’s really just a psychological and philosophical term for the idea that we can only perceive the world subjectively.

    Not only are your opinions your subjective perception of a thing, but it can even be said that instruments of measurement are not measuring the thing they are supposed to be measuring while measuring, but merely taking a measurement of themselves as instruments. In other words, a ruler tells us how it perceives the world, and not the way the world truly exists. Inches and centimeters exist according to the ruler, and therefore exist in a sense. But do inches and centimeters exist in a black hole?

    To assume that we perceive objects as they really are is to assume that there is but one reality, which is absurd considering how little we really know about the brain, the existence of multiple dimensions, math, and the science of outer space (and our own damn planet). Our conscience experience is but an internal representation of the world, which is why we love fiction so much — because we delve into another person’s world — new and strange perceptions give us an entirely different outlook on things we have only seen subjectively until entering that new reality.

    So next time you get all mad and panty-scrunched at someone for something you perceive as insulting, try to consider that you might be overreacting over what is nothing more than a difference in opinion. Not like that changes anything; everyone likes to believe that they’re ‘right,’ even though I just explained how nonexistent that is. And I am clearly right.


    Right and Wrong are Wrong

    Scales of Justice

    You’re taught what is right and wrong from a young age. We have people who make a living off of deciding what is right and wrong and how to punish or exonerate breakers of laws put into place to force our ideas of right and wrong upon the masses accordingly. We’re all very concerned with doing the right thing. We’re all very concerned with justice.

    Considering what we just learned about naive realism, it’s safe to say that things like justice don’t exist. Justice is a human concept. We made it up. It’s not real. It may be real in your opinion, but it doesn’t exist outside of our own little self-righteous worlds.

    This is not to say you should go out and commit a crime. Do not go out and commit a crime (we know what crime you are thinking of committing, and you’re a pervert in every subjective dimension of every universe). Or do. I don’t really care. I just hope you don’t hurt anyone. Because even though the concepts of right and wrong don’t exist outside our bubble of society, I still perceive them to be real inside my head. But that’s why ‘right and wrong’ mean different things to everyone and cause such problems in this wacky world — it’s all a matter of opinion.


    Narrow Perceptions and a Zombified Consciousness


    Alex Jones talks a lot of shit, which is unfortunate because he often buries the deeply meaningful, educational things he has to say beneath a sea of crazy ranting and unverifiable ‘facts’. The editor of his magazine, Steve Watson, wrote an article about two really smart guys who talk about the way most of us live in a reduced state of consciousness “akin to that of a zombie,” which is something most of us can agree on when we consider the way in which things like meditation or hallucinogens can quite literally “expand our minds.”

    The ‘zombie consciousness’ we live in most of the time is enabled by the stupid droning of constant sources of entertainment (television, celebrity gossip magazines, etc), prescription drugs (without discrediting doctors who are truly helping those with mental illness, America is somewhat infamous for freely and unnecessarily prescribing serious and mind-altering drugs to patients on a whim), awful food (diminished health implies diminished consciousness), and “chemicals in the air” which is where the article begins to lose me in all the tin foil.

    We’re all idiots here. No one really knows what they think they know, and it can be said that none of us really know anything at all. Add the words “in a sense” to the end of anything and it automatically becomes both true and false. In a sense.













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