Top 5 Little-Known New Features of the Apple iPhone 5

    September 21, 2012 at 7:27 am

    The first customers to purchase their new iPhone 5s exit an Apple flagship store on George street in Syndey, Australia.
    1. Steve Jobs “Foolproof” app cures cancer using just your phone

    2. Instead of saying “I don’t understand,” Siri assumes you want pictures of gay porn

    3. Wallpaper is a picture of the underage orphan who assembled the phone, to promote feelings of superiority

    4. Every time you try to run Java it shocks you as a friendly, Pavlovian reminder

    5. Free monitoring by the federal government and (we assume) really bored aliens

    Full story, here

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