Top 5 Excuses Secretary of Commerce John Bryson Made When Found Passed out in His Car after a Hit and Run

    June 11, 2012 at 6:28 am

    Because he needs some good excuses

    1. “This guy jumped in my car, knocked me unconscious with that vodka bottle on the floor there,  and took the wheel. He must have run away”

    2. “Last thing I remember, I was soaking in the tub with some bath salts I found at this new store”

    3. “Alcohol is the only cure for my crippling affliction of passing out while driving”

    4. “I don’t see how my actions have had any negative effect on this nation’s commerce. In fact, my purchase of all that liquor in the back seat helped the local economy”

    5. “Them Dukes boys were at it again! I was fixin’ to use this bottle of moonshine as a molotov, but I done caught the vapors.”

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