Top 5 Ways to Make the Empire State Building Earth-Friendly

    May 7, 2012 at 7:30 am

    Empire State Building
    Because it’s happening.

    1. Flagpole on top no longer depresses to dispense hairspray

    2. Building surrounded by compost heaps to catch King Kong’s enormous droppings

    3. Entire building now powered by the screaming rants of nearby homeless

    4. Energy-wasting elevators replaced with giant trampolines

    5. Air conditioning system powered entirely by the force of birds smacking into the windows


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