Other Jobs NBA Players Can Do During the Lockout

    October 6, 2011 at 6:00 am

    NBA-LockoutWith the NBA lockout’s end no where in sight, the players are going to have to find ways to not only make some money but also fill their time until they can get back on the court. Since most of these NBA players have either skipped college or left it early, they are a bit limited in their options. However, there’s still hope! Even though they might not be able to fall back on an education, they do have other unique skills that can help them during these trying times. Here are a few other jobs NBA players can do during the lockout:

    Cat Rescuer

    nba player cat in treeThis job is perfect for NBA players. Not only does it relieve firemen of this duty they are usually responsible for, giving them more time to fight fires and rescue humans, but it also makes the athletes heroes in their communities. If/When the NBA does come back, there is no way a fan will be able to turn on a player after that player has saved the fan’s cat during the lockout. Also I think it would soften the image of these big bad NBA stars that usually get a bad rap as being thugs. Have you ever seen a thug saving a cute kitty from a tree? The answer is no.

    Christmas Tree Decorator

    nba player christmas treeGranted, this is more of a seasonal job, but the lockout could end at any moment so a short-term job isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I think we’ve all been there before: in an over-zealous moment of holiday spirit, you go and buy the biggest Christmas tree on the lot. Well, not only does this monstrosity barely fit in your living room, but there is also no way you are getting that star on the top. As long as the NBA lockout is on, then you don’t have anything to worry about. No only will our NBA superstars place your star on the top of your tree, but they will also ensure an even distribution of lights and ornaments around those hard-to-reach tree regions for a Norman Rockwell-esque Christmas tree this holiday season.


    nba player scarecrowNBA players are big, they are sometimes scary, and, little known fact: all birds hate them. Those three reasons combined with the endless amount of free time they have due to the lockout make NBA players the perfect candidates for scarecrows. I will even go as far as saying there is potential for these guys to take Scarecrowing to a whole new level. We already know how effective the stationary scarecrows have been throughout history. Imagine all of those traditional scarecrow attributes, but with an added bonus skill: the ability to move! NBA players are some of the best athletes in the world, so focusing those abilities into Scarecrowing would be huge advantage for farmers in their on-going battle against birds.

    Professional Double-Dutcher

    nba player double dutchIt’s no secret that NBA players are some of the best jumpers in the world. Why wouldn’t they use those abilities to really take the Double-Dutch world by storm? Who knows, if enough of the players cross over to the Double-Dutch scene, then each team could be stacked. If that were the case, we could quickly see sponsors and fans flooding the Double-Dutch tournaments to not only see their favorite NBA players. but also to witness some of the best damn Double-Dutching anyone has every seen. I don’t think it’s an over-exaggeration to say that if this scenario plays itself out as I’ve outlined it, we could see the MLDD (Major League Double-Dutch) replace the NBA as one of the big four sports.

    Freak Show Attraction

    yao ming freak showLet’s be honest, if the NBA didn’t exist all of these giant humans would be considered freaks. Well, guess what: during the lockout, the NBA doesn’t exist. So take your 7ft frame, enormous feet and hands, and ability to jump 12ft and get yourself down to the local circus because they are just dying for a whole lineup of the world’s tallest men or the Amazing Human Spring, or whatever other roadside freak show oddity name they can come up with. Also, room and board is included!


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