6 Movie Cops Who Aren’t Getting Too Old For This $#!@

    September 14, 2011 at 5:30 am

    Movie cop characters who play fast and loose with the rules are a trademark in American cinema. When we’re watching an action flick we don’t want the authority figures to go by the book. Gas station explosions and shootouts in public places don’t happen when a captain’s orders are obeyed. Lately though, there seems to be a lack of compelling, entertaining cops in movies who get us laughing, cheering, and chest-bumping the theater patrons around us. That means we need to rely on the iconic badge-carrying characters of our past to deliver the goods. Unfortunately though, the characters and the actors who play them aren’t getting any younger. But if they can still strap a Glock to their waist, and deliver an equally strong punch and punchline, then they must answer the call of duty. Here are 6 movie cops who aren’t getting too old for this shit.

    Axel Foley

    Beverly Hills Cop

    Cue the Beverly Hills Cop theme music in your head. A wise-cracking black cop from Detroit shakes up the stuffy, pasty white Beverly Hills Police Department when he busts on the scene in search of his friend’s killer. The first Beverly Hills Cop is considered one of the greatest and most successful action-comedies of all time thanks to Eddie Murphy’s pitch-perfect performance. Axel investigating nefarious activity at the fictional theme park Wonderworld in the second sequel brought a dark cloud over the series, but that was 17 years ago. It’s time to see Murphy, who looks like he hasn’t aged a day, take on Axel again, and add the F-word back into his vocabulary.

    John McClane

    Die Hard

    John McClane is arguably the greatest movie cop character of all time, if you’d even want to argue the point, which if you do you’re probably stupid. FACT: Not one bad Die Hard movie has been made. Some are better than others, with the original being the best, but they are all entertaining. Bruce Willis keeps on kicking terrorist butt and taking hard-to-spell foreign names. The actor proved in Live Free or Die Hard that even in a completely bald state and at over 50 years in age, John McClane can still mix it up with the wiliest, most flexible, most well-armed terrorists. Die Hard 5 is in active development with John Moore set to direct, so expect more McClane in the near future. Yippe-ki-yay, indeed.

    “Dirty” Harry Callahan

    Dirty Harry

    Harry Callahan, or Dirty Harry if you’re a close friend or colleague, packs a big-ass gun. The kickback of a .44 Magnum would break the nimble wrist of a lesser man, but Dirty Harry wields the firearm as if it’s an extension of himself. I’m not making a comparison to a phallus, but he’d win the measuring contest in both length and girth. There have been four Dirty Harry films to date, the last one, The Dead Pool, released in 1988. I’d be interested to see what Harry is up to 23 years later. Actor Clint Eastwood is 81-years-old now, but he’s still as solid and intimidating as ever. He might not even need the .44 Magnum anymore. The years have deepened Eastwood’s snarl and deadened his eyes. Just one look and punk criminals will lay down their spray paint cans.

    Harry Tasker

    True Lies

    Can we get a True Lies sequel already? I’d much prefer that over another Avatar. In the action flick from director James Cameron, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Harry Tasker, a devoted father and husband who has to keep his secret spy life hidden from his family. He lies a lot, often times the lies being truths. Once again, Cameron pulls a terrific performance out of Arnie, who this time moves beyond the emotionless robot routine. He even delivers some of the best laughs in the film. And that’s going up against Tom Arnold and Bill “Game Over, Man” Paxton! Please make a sequel sometime soon, Cameron. Eliza Dushku is old enough now to have a sex scene.

    Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh

    Lethal Weapon

    As we all know, Roger Murtaugh coined the phrase, “I’m getting too old for this sh*t,” in the film Lethal Weapon written by Shane Black. If he thought he was too old for that sh*t back in 1987, he must have really been feeling the risks of the job when Lethal Weapon 4 came out 11 years later. Hell, in the first scene of that film they go up against a guy with a flamethrower. I’m too old for that sh*t. Martin Riggs, however, can take on any task at any age because a death wish is a magical mental state that makes one feel invincible. Both Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are getting up there in age, and Gibson has said a whole lot of bad stuff about African-Americans since they last worked together, but that’s certainly no reason why they can’t partner up again. I for one won’t be satisfied until the sh*t that Murtaugh claims that he’s getting too old for is the very sh*t that kills him. Or he passes away painlessly in his sleep. Either way.


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