The Best Steven Seagal Fight Scenes

    September 1, 2011 at 6:00 am

    steven-seagalSteven Seagal is making headlines again, but this time it’s not for something super creepy and disturbing like using his assistants as sex slaves and locking them in cages. No, it’s much more tame than that: Steven Seagal recently drove a tank through someone’s house and killed a puppy. Okay, maybe it’s only tame by Seagal standards, but it’s still an improvement for him. Steven Seagal has always been a huge douchebag, but back in the 80’s and 90’s, he was a douchebag and one of the most awesome action movie stars in the business. His fighting style is unique, and his films were the first American action films to utilize the nasty fake arm and leg breaks that we’ve since grown to love. Steven Seagal movies also contained some of the most entertaining and action-packed fight scenes in movie history. Here are some of the best Steven Seagal fight scenes:

    The Bar Fight from Out for Justice

    Like all Steven Seagal movies, Out for Justice is a crappy movie, but this bar fight scene is one of my favorite movie fight scenes of all time, and for one simple reason: Steven Seagal’s weapon of choice for this scene is a cue ball wrapped in a towel. It’s so simple and it makes perfect sense, but most of us would never even think of turning those two ordinary bar accessories into a lethal killing tool. Combine that with a cool pool cue fight and a whole bunch of a-hole biker bad guys, and you’ve got an epic fight scene.

    The Liquor Store Fight from Hard to Kill

    In this scene, we get a rare glimpse at Steven Seagal’s human side (albeit an incredibly awkward human side) when he cracks a few jokes and converses pleasantly with the shop owner. Then the trouble starts. Unfortunately the shop owner gets blown away, but Seagal disposes of these street thug bad guys with relative ease. All he has to do to one guy is grab him by the throat and throw him through a wine bottle display rack, and that’s a great consistency in all Seagal fight scenes: Steven Seagal always disables or kills guys in the simplest way possible. Whether it’s an aikido throw, a quick arm break, or just a swift kick to the balls (which he does a lot), he does it using as little energy as possible. Awesome.

    The Parking Lot Fight from Exit Wounds

    This is a scene that takes place in every single Seagal movie: Steven Seagal is walking along and he comes across a gang of petty street thugs (either Asian, Hispanic, or Jamaican) trying to steal a car. Then, for some reason, they try to fight him with an assortment of weapons, and Steven Seagal kills them all. This particular scene is extra awesome for two reasons: 1) We get a little bit of Tom Arnold, who’s always a great action movie sidekick (see True Lies), and we get to see Seagal’s rare use of camera tricks and special effects, like the amazing “dodge a bullet, fall, and then kick the guy in the face while balancing on one hand, then spring back up” move, which I’m pretty sure is the actual name given to that technique.

    The Yakuza Fight from Into the Sun

    Into the Sun is a terrible movie. TERRIBLE. But Steven Seagal proves without a doubt that he’s still got it. This is after Steven gained some weight (which is why he looks like a guy wearing a Steven Seagal fat suit). He also decided to start dressing like a vampire, and he’s still doing that to this day. He’s as quick as lightning in this scene though, and he does away with four Yakuza street thugs in about 25 seconds and manages to score some free sodas in the process. Not bad, Seagal. Not bad at all.

    The Mall Fight from Marked for Death

    Marked for Death was a notable movie for two big reasons. First, Steven Seagal was in his absolute prime for this movie. Secondly, the whole film is kind of racist. This is the one where Seagal has to take down the gang of Jamaican voo doo guys, and the whole movie is just him beating up terrified black guys who are talking in really crappy Jamaican accents. Knowing what kind of person Steven Seagal is now, I imagine the racial slurs were flying around on the Marked for Death set like bats in a grasshopper farm. Grasshoppers are born on farms, right?

    The Bar Fight from On Deadly Ground

    It’s very possible that Steven Seagal made On Deadly Ground in an effort to compensate for the overt racism in Marked for Death, because Seagal spends the whole movie defending Native Americans and fighting against white people. He even dresses like a Native American, and he gives a huge environmentalist, “heal the world”-type speech at the end of this movie. In this scene, some crappy white redneck dudes are picking on a drunk Native American guy for no reason at all, so Steven Seagal steps in and kicks the crap out of them. There’s no cue-ball-in-a-bar-towel weapon utilized, but it’s still pretty good.

    The Final Fight from Under Seige

    Yes, that’s Tommy Lee Jones (who still looks exactly the same, btw) fighting Steven Seagal in what may be Seagal’s best film. I like this fight scene because Tommy Lee Jones is no match for Steven Seagal. It’s not even a contest. He’s just getting his ass handed to him for most of the scene, with one exception: the awesome/ridiculous knife fight sequence, where Tommy Lee and Steven Seagal just shake knives at one another for about 90 seconds while we hear the clacking of knives. Ridiculous? Yes. Ridiculously awesome? Also yes!

    The Gang Fight from Above the Law

    Yet another scene where Seagal is just walking along, minding his own business and a bunch of sleezy two-bit gang bangers come out of nowhere and start messing with him. Why would anyone ever mess with Steven Seagal? Have you seen that ponytail? The only guy that would wear his hair like that is a dude who could easily beat you to death just for insulting him. I chose to highlight this particular scene from Above the Law because we get to see Seagal chase someone, and for some reason Steven Seagal runs like a 9-year old girl (not that I’ve been chasing 9-year old girls or anything). Then, finally, he takes a dude down with a single punch to the chest. Classic Seagal!

    This Fight from Belly of the Beast

    Steven Seagal had gotten a little old and weathered by the time he did Belly of the Beast (notice how he looks like he’s been stung by 200 bees in this clip?), so he needed a sidekick for this one. Seagal has clearly lost his step by this point in his career, because his sidekick does most of the heavy lifting and the quick editing helps to hide Steven Seagal’s complete lack of ability, although he still has the ability to catch someone by the wrist in mid-air, pause them there momentarily, then redirect them face first into the ground. I don’t think he’ll ever lose that skill. The cheesy special effects and Nu-Metal soundtrack help to make this scene one of the most ridiculous action scenes ever, but you just can’t stop watching it.

    The Cholo Fight from Urban Justice

    I said it before and I’ll say it again: this scene is in every single Steven Seagal movie. Steven comes out of a shop, just minding his own business dressed like some kind of vampire pimp, and some nosy street thug has to give him trouble and bother Seagal until Steven just beats his face in. Why do people keep bothering Steven Seagal when he’s coming out of shops?! Just stop doing that, petty criminals and gang bangers! Stop it!

    Steven Seagal Punching People in the Nuts 74 Times

    While I was searching for great Steven Seagal fight scenes, I came across this epic mash-up featuring just about every nut punch that Steven Seagal ever threw in any of his movies (and there were a lot of them. 74 to be exact). It’s pretty amazing just how much Seagal relies on this move, but it’s a great move if you think about it. Who would expect Steven Seagal to punch them in the nuts? Nobody would. Nobody.

    Steven Seagal Doing Aikido in Real Life

    Here’s some old rare footage I found of Steven Seagal doing Aikido in real life. Watching this footage, you can see how he translates the Aikido fighting style into his movies, and where his unique action movie fighting style came from. Also, Steven Seagal is really good. Like, really good. At one point in the clip, he’s fighting of three or four dudes at the same time just by pushing them down by the face. Then when they get back up, he just pushes them down again. It’s not the most flamboyant fighting style, but I’ll be damned if it’s not effective. Seagal might be a running celebrity joke at this point, but this video proves that, at least at one time, he was a complete badass.

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