The Coolest Time Travelers in Recent History

    July 20, 2011 at 5:00 am

    Since the beginning of time, people have been obsessed with it: Time, that is. Time is one of the few things in the world that Man has no control over, and although we’ve tried to grasp Time by the reigns, we’ve never even come close to succeeding. But that hasn’t stopped mankind from doing what it does best: dreaming big, and imagining what it would be like if the impossible were possible: if we could Time Travel. With the dawn of the internet and the ease of communication, we’ve encountered many time travelers in recent history. Most of them turn out to be stupid idiot liars, but some time traveler stories have proven far more interesting than others. For example:

    John Titor

    john titorWho He Was:
    John Titor was the pseudonym for an unidentified time traveler who began posting in online forums hosted by The Time Travel Institute in 2000. John posted to the forums with a simple message: that he was a time traveler from the 2036 who had gone back to the ’70’s to retrieve a vital computer component, and that he was interested in sharing what he knows about time travel based on his experiences. Naturally, the forum users were skeptical, and they began grilling John on his story. John was very open and casually answered user’s questions, even in live chatrooms, with ease. He said that he was a soldier who had been sent back to the 70’s to retrieve a very rare computer that could write a very specific type of code that was needed in the future. Later, computer experts would agree that John was right about this particular machine’s ability to write that type of code, but that only someone who knows a lot about computers would have access to that knowledge. When questioned about his time travel device, John posted numerous photos of his time travel machine (one pictured above), explained in detail how it worked, and even posted pictures of the manual and schematics for the device. Then he seemingly vanished, right at the time that he said he would have to return to the future.

    How It Was Debunked:
    John also said that in 2004, the U.S. would sink into a Civil War that would eventually tear the country apart, and that the war would rage for many years. Obviously, this didn’t happen. When 2004 came and went with no Civil War, people assumed that John was a hoax, albeit a very elaborate and well-designed hoax. Some people also began to notice striking similarities between John’s story and Pat Frank’s classic Post-Apocalyptic sci-fi novel Alas, Babylon. The strange part is: to this day, nobody has ever come forward to take credit for the incredible four-year long hoax that had casual followers and even some experts convinced. You’d think that someone would want to claim ownership of such a well-executed hoax, right?

    Andrew Carlssin

    andrew carlssinWho He Was:
    In 2002, Yahoo News published a story about a man who had been arrested for numerous SEC violations. The man, Andrew Carlssin, had made a number of extremely high-risk trades and had been successful at every single one of them. Andrew began with an initial investment of $800 and ended with over $350 million in an incredibly short amount of time. When he was interrogated, Andrew claimed that he was a time traveler from 200 years in the future. While he refused to tell investigators the location or inner-workings of his time machine, he offered to tell them the location of Osama bin Laden and the cure for AIDS in exchange for his release.

    How It Was Debunked:
    This news story was originally published in The Weekly World News, the same publication that brought you such fantastically un-true stories as “Bat Boy” and “Bigfoot Found on the Moon!”. For some reason, Yahoo News picked up the story, forgetting that The Weekly World News is entirely full of bull crap all the time, and once Yahoo had it, everyone just assumed it was true. After all, Yahoo News wouldn’t just pull ridiculous, unfounded stories from anywhere, would they? Yes, actually they would.

    The Charlie Chaplin Time Traveler



    Who She Was:
    In October of 2010, a filmmaker from Northern Ireland claimed to have discovered a time traveler in the bonus footage of the Charlie Chaplin film The Circus, which was shot in 1928. The footage (above) shows a woman dressed in 1928 attire walking in front of a camera, and she appears to be talking on a cell phone. Although the film footage is gritty, the woman can clearly be seen talking into a small rectangular device that she holds up to her ear.



    How It Was Debunked:
    Believe it or not, some people actually carried around small, rectangular devices that they listened to throughout their day. These devices were hearing aids, and back then (before there were any electronic hearing aids), people would carry an ear trumpet, a small item that was shaped to acoustically augment sounds. in other words, you held the device up to your ear and it made things louder. Further analysis by a number of professionals concluded that the item the woman was holding is most likely a simple hearing aid, consistent with those available in 1928.

    St. Germain

    st germainWho He Was:
    St. Germain was an actual person. He was a French Nobleman in the 1700’s who was an accomplished violinist, pianist, composer, adventurer, and all around jack-of-all-trades. He was a lot like that guy you know who’s good at everything. Y’know, the one that you really, really hate because he can do anything that you can do better, and with way more gusto? Well, that was St. Germain. Considering all of his accomplishments, it’s proven very difficult for anyone to find solid biographical information about St. Germain. There are several different versions of his possible lineage, and even about the details of his death. This has led some people to believe that St. Germain might be an Immortal, an entity who has reappeared throughout history numerous times and as numerous notable historical figures. Proponents of this theory believe that the person called St. Germain was also alive in the 1500’s, when he went by Sir Francis Bacon and possibly ghostwrote many of Shakespeare’s plays, and may have even been some of the classic Greek and Roman poets and philosophers that we still study today. While he’s not a time traveler in the traditional sense, the myths surrounding St. Germain do suggest that there might be a person in the world today who’s been around for eons, never aging and always asserting some degree of influence on the world, particularly in the arts. Can you think of anyone who’s involved in the arts and never seems to age?

    keanu reeves doesnt age

    (Neither could we.)

    How It Was Debunked:
    Technically, the theory that St. Germain is actually a Dr.Who-esque immortal who pops up every couple of hundred years to have a profound effect on the course of history has never been debunked. There’s too much mystery surrounding the death of St. Germain and the death of Sir Francis Bacon (despite that record keeping was a common practice back then), so there’s really no solid evidence to prove that St. Germain wasn’t an immortal who had been alive since the beginning of time. However, most people who aren’t crazy refuse to believe that such a person could exist, and that both historical figures died just like everyone else did: regretting the fact that they weren’t really immortal.

    The Chronovisor

    chronovisorWhat It Is:
    The Chronovisor is not a person, it’s a machine. Specifically, it’s a machine that allows its operator to see past and future events. The Chronovisor first appeared in a book entitled The Vatican’s New Mystery, which was written by Father Francois Brune in 2002. Brune claimed that The Vatican has utilized the mind power of 12 of the world’s most renowned scientists to create a machine that allowed its operator to view past and future events by receiving, decoding, and reassembling ambient electromagnetic radiation left behind from past events. Brune received the information about the Chronovisor from Italian priest and scientist Father Pellegrino Maria Ernetti, who was a real person and did not invent over-priced bottled water (I looked it up). Ernetti claimed to have worked on the device and seen it in action, going so far as to say that he saw the crucifixion of Jesus and took a photograph of it.

    How It Was Debunked:
    The Chronovisor has kind of been debunked, but it also kind of hasn’t. Brune’s source for his Chronovisor information, Father Pellegrino Maria Ernetti, died in 1994. According to someone who was with him at his death bed (presumably a family member, though it’s not known exactly who it was), Ernetti confessed that the photo he took of Jesus at the cruxificion, which was featured in an Italian magazine in 1972, was a fake. So that’s definitely enough to assume that the entire story of the Chronovisor is also a fake, right? Well, it would be if Father Ernetti hadn’t also said on his death bed that the Chronovisor is 100% real and that The Vatican is keeping it a secret from the rest of the world. He said that on his death bed. While he was dying. Like, right before he died, he just confirmed that the Chronovisor is absolutely real. Then he died. That’s a long way for a priest to go just for a really good joke. Nobody’s ever found an elaborate time-viewing machine in The Vatican, but the Vatican is also pretty good at keeping secrets (did you see The DaVinci Code?) so who knows?

    John Krasinski

    john krasinski time travelWho He Is:
    He’s the dude from The Office. You know this guy. You’ve seen him in tons of things over the past few years, and if you were alive in 1835, you probably would’ve seen him in your local soap shop. At least, that’s what an army of internet junkies thought when someone pointed out the striking resemblance between John Krasinski and Carl Adolf Feilberg, the subject of a portrait painted by the artist Christen Kobke in 1835. After a tech-savvy museum-goer posted the pic to Reddit, the internet lit up with time travel theories and speculation. The photo went so viral that NBC eventually got wind of it and decided to base an ad campaign around it in an effort to promote The Office, which of course completely killed the trend altogether.

    How It Was Debunked:
    It never was. John Krasinski talked about the uncanny resemblance on a few talk shows, and totally dismissed it as just a silly coincidence, but he’s an actor. That’s what he does. He lies to people every day. Krasinski really is a time traveler who went back to the year 1835 to pose for Kobke’s portrait, but he can’t tell you that. Do you realize what people would do if they found out that time travel existed? The world would be gone in 5 days. People would destroy it looking for the machine, and they’d be like “it doesn’t matter if we destroy the world to find a time machine, because we can just go back to before we destroyed it! Sweet!” Angry mobs never take time travel paradoxes into consideration.


    1. Gutts says:

      I am also from the future. Alas, I have amnesia. Every moment is a deja vu.

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