The Best Jan Terri Videos on the Internet

 
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    June 27, 2011 at 6:00 am

    jan terriIf you don’t know who Jan Terri is, you’ve been missing out on almost 20 years of the crappiest, most ridiculous music videos ever. Jan Terri has been described as “a combination of Miss Piggy, Jabba the Hut, and William Hung.” A resident of Chicago, Jan has been creating her own low budget music videos since the early 1990’s, when she was working as a limousine driver. Jan would collect her music videos on VHS tapes, then hand the tapes out to people who rented her limousine. She never garnered a record deal from this brilliant marketing ploy (probably because she’s terrible), but her tapes found their way to the desks of countless record and PR executives…as a joke. Then the internet came along, and people quickly realized that Jan was about 15 years ahead of her time. Now, most of the videos from those old VHS tapes have been transferred to Youtube for your enjoyment. Here are the 6 Best Jan Terri videos on the internet:

    “Lose You Tonight”


    “Lose You Tonight” was Jan’s most successful video, thanks to some attention she garnered when one of her tapes made its way into the hands of Marilyn Manson. This video was also featured on The Daily Show in 2000, back when Jon Stewart still had brown hair. It’s also one of the more technically advanced Jan videos, featuring such cinematic benchmarks as the classic “traffic from a bridge” shot, and the “lip syncing while standing in front of a drain pipe” shot.

    “My Little Brother”


    Everything about this video is just bizarre. We’re supposed to believe that Jan just hangs out with these three girls all day, even though they would never hang out with Jan in a billion years. We’re also supposed to believe that the giant, acid-washed denim-clad behemoth in this video is Jan’s little brother. But my favorite part of “My Little Brother” is in the chorus, when Jan says “Don’t you wanna take a…cruise ship!” while pointing at a cruise ship. Brilliant.

    “Get Down Goblin”


    Jan Terri is no stranger to holidays. In fact, she’s one of the few mid-90’s VHS music video entrepreneurs who actually embraced holidays. In this video, Jan Terri captures the scariness and spookiness of the Halloween season by walking out of what appears to be a makeshift coffin and strolling around the house with a candelabra while ordering goblins to dance. Y’know, scary stuff.

    “Baby Blues”


    When it comes to songs about going to a crappy dive bar and dancing too close to a dart board with a super creepy cowboy dude, Jan Terri reigns supreme.

    “Rock and Roll Santa”


    If you thought Halloween was the only holiday that Jan Terri could make an amazing music video for, you are dead wrong. She can also kind of do it for Christmas, too!

    Jan Terri Live!


    I don’t know exactly where this video was taken, but I have to assume that it was from a show Jan Terri did for a bunch of blind people, because she’s clearly not even attempting to play that guitar, but nobody even seems to notice. Then again, people cheer at the Special Olympics too, so maybe they’re just being polite.

     
     
     
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