8 Blog Suggestions I Got From People On Twitter

    May 6, 2011 at 5:00 am

    A couple years ago when I got my first full-time blogging job one of the first things my boss said to me was “are you sure you’re ready for this?” I gave the typical moron answers about how it’s a dream come true and so many people would love to be in my position. Blah, blah. He stopped me and said “no, are you sure you’re ready to be interesting every day?” I laughed, mostly because I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

    Five years later I’ve finally figured out what he was meant. Blogging every day is a pain in the a**. I don’t want to get all “waaaaaa, my job is hard” on everyone but I can’t exactly mail it in on a consistent basis. You could go to work tomorrow and do nothing all day and get away with it. I could too but then the website wouldn’t have any updates and I’d probably get fired.

    Anyway, last night was one of those “what the hell am I gonna blog about nights” so I decided to ask people on Twitter for blog ideas. As always, be careful what you ask for.

    Are llamas douche-bags? I’ve only seen them in real life a handful of times and it was while speeding by a farm near my old house. I didn’t even know what a llama was up until that point. Wait, or was it an alpaca? See, I still don’t know. Maybe they are such douche-bags because people disrespect them and confuse them with alpaca.

    Wow, I’m much too dumb to attempt that idea. Plus I get called a moron for trying to blog about the stuff I know about.

    Ok, I’m intrigued. Non-food household uses? Like the way vinegar does magic stuff or milk takes out stains? I like it. What about household items that can also be used as food in emergencies? For example, if I’m locked in my bathroom, I’m eating the decorative soap. I’ve wanted to eat it for fun. They look like giant sour seashells.

    Toilet paper. I could go on and on about toilet paper. I’ve recently switched to baby wipes but just because I’ve got a baby. Once he gets old enough and we stop buying them I’ll go back to using Charmin or the most recent copy of US Weekly.

    Imagine Charlie and Mel drunk together at a BBQ. Honestly. Who would cause the bigger ruckus? Charlie at least seems like for a short time he is a happy drunk. Mel just seems pissy from the first shot. I’d like to get them drunk in separate rooms then have them call each other on a cell phone.

    I don’t think they insist, but I’m glad they do, because then men can change the channel from whatever crap Housewives show they were watching and put on something interesting. But to answer your question, in my case, the answer is “drugs in her food.”

    I always say this about people with awful haircuts; I don’t blame them but I blame the people that still know how to cut hair in that style. If you still know how to cut a feathered flat top, and are willing to take a person’s money to do it, you are the one that deserved to be mocked. I’m done.

    This is why I love Twitter. This isn’t a list, or even really coherent, but I’m incredibly intrigued. Hipster porn. I can’t top that or even elaborate on it. It’s best to stop right here.

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