6 Things To Do Now That The Royal Wedding Is Over

    April 29, 2011 at 5:00 am

    Prince William and Kate Middleton

    The Royal Wedding day is finally here! And what a day. It will all be over and life will finally get back to normal. Here is how to cope.

    Find Storage For The Royal Wedding Memorabilia

    Royal Wedding shirts, DVDs, thimbles, toilet paper and hemorrhoid creme is littered around your house. It needs a special place. How about the back bedroom? Nope, that’s the Beanie Babies apartment. Possibly in the spare closet in the bedroom that is suppose to have a man’s wardrobe in it? Fingers crossed that might still happen. You might find your Prince some day. Oh, wait, you never leave the house. Well there are handsome repairmen in the world.

    Put Effort Into Your Own Relationship

    Oh right, we just covered that. You’re single. Possibly you are not single but are in a relationship that is more crooked than half the teeth of the people at the Royal Wedding. Fix it. Pretend you are Kate and he is William. It shouldn’t be too hard. Except in this case you are the one going bald.

    Take A Nap

    What time did you wake up to watch? Really? Four in the morning. You are as bad as those soccer fans.

    Re-Evaluate Your Life

    Make a checklist of all the things you could have been doing instead of watching the wedding of two complete strangers that could give a proper English breakfast crap that you were watching and bawling your eyes out. That’s a very long checklist. You’re going to have to get another early start tomorrow to get it all done. Perhaps maybe you shouldn’t even go to sleep.

    Count The Days Until The Royal Divorce

    Three years. Tops.

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