The Worst Celebrity Wrestlers of All Time

 
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    April 5, 2011 at 10:00 am

    snooki wrestling wrestler wweProfessional wrestling is home to some of the most awesome wrestlers ever to grace the ring, and to some of the worst celebrity wrestlers of all time. The latest terrible celebrity wrestler, The Jersey Shore’s Snooki, is just the latest in a long line of terrible WWE guest wrestlers. Here are some of the worst celebrity wrestlers ever:

    Snooki


    You could show me a million different youtube clips of Snooki performing amazing physical feats, and I still won’t believe that she can do anything with that weird little garden gnome body of hers besides 1) bounce around on her butt like a gummi bear, and 2) get stuck on her back because her limbs are too short to roll herself over again.

    Jeremy Piven & Ken Jeong


    In case you weren’t already annoyed just by seeing Ken Jeong, he decided to wear a ridiculous thrift store pimp costume because, y’know, he’s funny and stuff. Apparently Ken suffered a concussion from this faux battle, so that makes up for the headaches you’ve gotten after watching everything he’s ever been in ever.
     

    Jay Leno


    Before you judge, this is the funniest Jay Leno clip I’ve ever seen.

    Seth Green


    Skip ahead to 3:45 to see something actually happen. I actually like that Seth Green plays his wrestling experience off like I imagine a real pop culture geek would. He seems genuinely surprised and thrilled by the experience. I just wish that he would’ve done that for more than 7 seconds.

    J-Woww


    If you ever feel sick to your stomach but you just can’t get your body to vomit all over the place, just watch this clip. By the fifteen second mark (before J-Woww even nasties up the place) you’ll be uncontrollably spilling your guts out. Just be sure to stop watching after you’re finished throwing up, because as long as this video is playing, your brain is going to be trying to figure out a way to kill itself.

    Robocop


    Skip ahead to about 1:50 to see Robocop in all his stilted, mechanical slowness. On the one hand, I kind of wish Robocop would’ve squared off with someone in the ring. On the other hand, Robocop didn’t really wrestle in the movies. Sometimes he picked guys up and threw them into things, but most of the time he just shot the hell out of people, and that would be a pretty boring signature wrestling move.

    David Arquette


    It’s true: David Arquette actually won the WWE title belt once. Do you still think wrestling is real?
     

     
     
     
    7 Comments
    1. WIll says:

      No Karol Malone and Dennis Rodman?! That match was terrible!

      • I definitely thought about including Karl Malone, but I really liked Rodman as a wrestler. With his weirdness, flamboyance, and size, he fit in perfectly. But you’re right: Karl Malone totally sucked.

    2. JakeComments says:

      Forgot ICP and the Misfits.

      Sure, not really celebrities but you’ve got 2 members of Jersey Shore…

    3. ric says:

      David Arquette won the WCW title not the WWF or WWE title. Make fun of WWE all you want, but do not confuse it with the horrible last days of WCW.

    4. Jacktion! says:

      “Professional wrestling is home to some of the most awesome wrestlers ever to grace the ring”

      I should have known how poorly written this article was going to be right from the start.

    5. Tim says:

      Listen, it’s a-okay if you hate Snooki, but that was pretty damn impressive considering how she’s built. Give credit where credit is due.

     
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