6 Things Sammy Hagar Is Thinking In This Picture

    March 24, 2011 at 5:00 am

    Former Van Halen front man Sammy Hagar

    Sammy Hagar, former lead singer of Van Halen and pusher of all things Cabo Wabo, just released an autobiography. I’m sure you already own it and read it from cover to cover seven times. He’s been doing the rounds on TV and in print trying to sell it as something interesting to people. Tough sell. This picture was snapped during said tour. Wonder what Sammy is thinking? Here are some guesses.

    I was in Van Halen?!?

    Man, what a bad idea on their part huh? Well, what did they want, they hired the same dude that wrote and sang “I can’t drive 55.” It’s not like they were getting the lead singer of Extreme or something.

    So that’s what too tequila does to your mind!

    Think I’ve been drinking too much of my own booze. This is some incoherent babble. I’m not even sure what the hell half this stuff means. What in world is a Table of Contents? I MUST have been drunk writing this stuff.

    Is that Fred Durst behind me?

    Is it? I don’t want to look right at him. That would be awkward. Maybe if I just peek. It’s not him. Damn it. I wanted a celebrity to show up to this book signing.

    They let me have my own book?!?

    Did the publishing world already run out of Jersey Shore cast members? How did it get down to me so fast? Who is next Slim Goodbody?

    Where are the pictures?

    Less talky! More looky! I submitted tons of personal pics of naked broads.

    Where is chapter 7: The rug matches the drapes?!?

    What! I submitted tons of personal pics of my naked body! This books sucks, I’m going back to obscurity.

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