20 Things You Think You Should Know About: Santa Claus

    December 24, 2010 at 11:00 am

    Super-fans think they know everything about their favorite stars. They don’t know the half of it. Now they do. Here are facts about your favorite celebs you never knew: and you should be glad.

    Today’s Subject: Santa Claus

    1. He is diabetic
    2. He won’t let the elves form a union
    3. Really isn’t that jolly
    4. Knows where depression hurts
    5. Tried Atkins
    6. Knows when you’re sleeping, when you’re awake and when you do that thing to yourself in the shower
    7. Constantly looking for a new job on Monster.com
    8. Yes, he ran over Grandma, but the bitch deserved it
    9. Gave Chuck Norris his first roundhouse kick. It was impossible to wrap
    10. Disguises himself as Kirstie Alley during the year
    11. He’s climbing in your window, he’s snatching up your kids
    12. Even he can’t get his hands on the Kinect
    13. Not into yoga, has half a brain
    14. Thinks some people should be ashamed of their houses
    15. His balls smell like cinnamon
    16. On his fourth “Mrs. Claus”
    17. Hates flying
    18. Wishes he could just do all this via UPS
    19. Uses Just For Men on his beard
    20. He is Jewish.

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