Would You Rather? With Comedian Tommy Gimler

    December 14, 2010 at 11:00 am

    This week, comedian Tommy Gimler joins EgoTV for his turn at “Would You Rather?” Tommy just released some humorous songs in time for the Christmas season off his album Songs To Complain About.

    EgoTV: Have a giraffe neck or elephant trunk? Why?

    Tommy Gimler: Definitely the elephant trunk. I would finally be able to not leave the couch to get my beers during the big game. Well, I guess I don’t have that problem now when my girlfriend is home, but if she was out of town, then the trunk would be quite useful. And at least with an elephant trunk I could still live indoors and fit under freeway overpasses in my car. Plus, I would now have another elephant trunk to match the one I have below my belt.

    EgoTV: Eat 5 boxes of Fruit Loops every day OR drink 21 cups of coffee?

    TG: Sounds like a question fit for the Who Can Crap the Most In A 24-Hour Period Competition held every year in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. I would go with the 21 cups of coffee so I could keep the pounds off. Then I would go to the Holiday Inn and order the 24-hour adult movie package because let’s face it, I’m going to be up for a while and I don’t want to ruin the bathroom at my house.

    EgoTV: Have two breasts of significantly different sizes OR two feet of significantly different sizes?

    TG: Hey man. I don’t care how awkward, misshaped, discolored, leaky, or different-sized those two breasts are, I am taking those sweater puppies over two different-sized feet. Hell, I would take two different-sized breasts over watching two chicks go at it. Nobody would see me for about three and a half months as I would just look at myself in the mirror, but eventually I would have to leave the house to get some food and/or a bra.

    EgoTV: Pass a kidney stone on your wedding night OR have a friend pull an abscessed tooth with some pliers?

    TG: Definitely pass the kidney stone on my wedding night because that means somebody would actually want to marry me. Plus, what a test of how strong her love for me really is! She would probably feel pretty bad that she wouldn’t be able to help me as she’s gagged and bound to the bedposts, but the fact that she feels bad and still wants to be with me after hearing and watching that, that’s what’s important here.

    EgoTV: Have science prove there is a God OR find a cure for cancer?

    TG: I would rather have science find the cure for cancer because I hate being wrong.

    All three of Tommy Gimler’s highly inappropriate comedy Chirstmas songs can be downloaded on iTunes and Amazon.com.

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