6 Holiday Card Ideas For People That Hate The Holidays

 
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    December 13, 2010 at 5:00 am

    It’s the most wonderful time of the year. For some people. For other people it’s loaded with unnecessary expenditures, reconnecting with family and friends that have been jerks most of the year and an overload of food and festivities that are enough to make anyone puke egg nog.

    Some people just hate the holidays. Unfortunately they’ve got to suck it up like everyone else and pretend it’s a great time to be a human. It’s times like this that a website like Someecards is so wonderful. Just to let it be known, I’m in no way affiliated with the website and they aren’t greasing my yule log to write this blog. I just appreciate good humor, especially, when it takes the place of sentiment and crappy greeting cards.

    For the benefit of those readers that hate the 25 days before Xmas, I browsed the Someecards website for holiday greeting card ideas to cover all the possible situations a person would have to say “thanks” during the season. Here are my seven favorite cards that all the Scrooges in the crowd should send.

    Never understood why the boss should get anything for the holidays, considering he makes more money than everyone in the office and usually makes like miserable the entire season. Makes no sense. You’ve got to give the tool something, so why not this card that says “thanks for the career help and the occasional screw job.”

    Shopping for people is impossible. Especially for people you barely know. This card explains that dilemma (perhaps they are unaware) while also cushioning the blow that his gift is probably going to suck. Hard. At least it shows you tried.

    You spend all this time and money getting crap for other people, you expect something of equal or greater value in return. This is the time people cry poor the most often “I was going to get you something but I’ve got bills and no job and blah, blah” TOUGH! Either give the gift back or pull out the charge card. This card also serves noticed that you’ve notice how long this person has been milking unemployment benefits. Perhaps the proper people will be receiving a call on Monday unless a proper gift is given.

    Secret Santa was invented to make up for the fact some people are very well liked. So instead of feeling awful because no one else got them a gift, the Secret Santa scam was invented to FORCE a person to buy something for the losers. No slip of paper is going to tell you whom to shop for and what the price limit will be. This card does make a nice Secret Santa gift though.

    Wikileaks! Topical humor makes you look smart. Calling people out for their own shortcomings makes you look even smarter. This card comes in handy for the coworkers that continue to make a fool of themselves every holiday party. Scary how many people you could send this to isn’t it?

    As I pointed out in the intro, the holidays suck for some people. It’s bring on a special form of depression called seasonal affective disorder. The first thing any expert will tell a person with depression to do is “tell someone about it.” Well why not tell a whole bunch of people with this clever card. It’s like a Get Out Of Jail card for an holiday tradition. Print it out and bring it everywhere during the holidays. Or just hide out in your house until January 2nd.

     
     
     
    5 Comments
    1. Ciera says:

      How about a picture of crap with a hat on top … could possibly charm the pants off of someone when they open the envelope

    2. BeckyMinx says:

      As someone who hates the holidays, I love these!

    3. That Dude says:

      I always hope for the rich guy when we do Secret Santa.

    4. The Walrus says:

      That first card gave me a great gift idea for the boss; dead fish.

    5. J Bob says:

      What’s up with Secret Santas? Can we please abolish that completely?

     
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