6 Dating Tips To Learn From This “Millionaire Matchmaker” Train Wreck

    December 9, 2010 at 5:00 am

    Besides daily blogging for EgoTV, I do freelance writing for several other Men’s entertainment websites and magazines. I don’t really have specific topics that I cover, but for the last four years I’ve done more than a few dating and relationship articles. I’m in no way an authority on relationships, dating or women because no such person exists but I like to think I’m successful just because I apply common sense to dating and relationships.

    Many of the articles I’ve written revolve around the “date situation”; what to say/not say, do/not do and how to avoid the stuff that keep you from getting laid or at least a second date. For the most part, I think men know what to do, they just have a massive brain fart in the moment and forget. Most men can eventually figure it out for themselves.

    Except this dude. This dude is a worst case scenario.

    He is a lost cause. I’m fine with that because he doesn’t really seem like a guy that should get help anyway. Seem likes a massive douche bag. Luckily, he was nice enough to display all the things he does wrong with women on a national television show so that other men can learn to never, ever make these mistakes.

    Here are 6 things to learn from that train wreck of a first date.

    Never Set Up A Date Where You’re The Only People Around

    This guy is a millionaire and gets off on that fact by flaunting it every moment possible. Fine. Whatever. If you’ve got the money, and want to flaunt it, it’s your choice but don’t do it in such psycho killer way as a secluded dinner away from regular people. It just makes a person look like they’re not normal enough to mingle with the common people and already sets off a vibe like you think you’re turds smell like watermelon. The last thing this woman wanted was to be alone with this guy. Plus, having people around can keep a dull conversation from getting worse.

    Never Test A Woman. On Anything. Ever.

    “My plan is to test her palette and … see just how refined she is,” David explains. Holy crap dude women love that! They love when a man tests them on a first date. When she is done eating, bust out the Periodic Table and a 12th grade history book. To be truthful, the entire first date is a test, but you’re not the only one doing the testing Lex Luthor. She is testing. Good lord I hope there is a grade worse than F to tattoo on your dumb dome.

    Never Demand A Woman, Do Anything, Ever

    “You can, and you will.” Wow if she didn’t get a glimpse into her possible future in that moment and shudder with pain. “You can have sex tonight, you can and you will.” “You can have my child. You can and you will.” She can vomit in her mouth. She can and she did. I’m honestly shocked the dude didn’t get a seafood fork in the eye.

    Never Accuse A Woman Of “Wussing Out”

    This dude thinks he is hanging out with his boys watching football and eating wings. Even though he has probably never done any of those things because imaginary friends don’t watch football or like spicy foods (well, mine don’t). A woman isn’t going to respond to taunts or name calling. This isn’t a basketball court or a card game. Tell her she is “wussing out” of doing something is just pointing out the obvious: she doesn’t want to do it and you’re making it worse.

    Never Look Like Such A Creep

    This is an exercise every man should try: ask your best friend or closest female friend “and I’m creepy.” If they say yes, ask them what the problem is and listen to every word they say. If they say no, they are probably lying, and ask more people. Another tip is if you think this guy doesn’t see so bad, you’re probably creepy.

    Just Come To The Conclusion You’re Meant To Be Single

    This guy will eventually figured out he was meant to single. It’s far better than embarrassing yourself like this guy. There is nothing wrong with being single, some people just weren’t meant to find a partner. You might be one of these people. If that’s the case, give this guy a call. People can be single, but they shouldn’t be alone. You too can hang out. Try the eggs. TRY THEM!

    1. That Dude says:

      Just a bunch of gold diggers trying to get their thang wet.

    2. The Walrus says:

      Bet his next TV appearance is on “To Catch A Predator”

    3. brocklanders says:

      Never get dating advice from anyone who claims to give good dating advice.

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