Would You Rather? With Author Eric Smith

    December 7, 2010 at 11:00 am

    This week, author Eric Smith joins EgoTV for his turn at “Would You Rather?” Eric just released a new book Textual Healing and blogs daily at Geekadelphia.

    EgoTV: Would You Rather.. Sing every word you speak OR always speak in rhymes?

    Eric Smith: Hm. I’d have to go with always speaking in rhymes. It would make writing children’s books all kinds of simple. I’d try my best to be a careful blend of Shel Silverstein (who doesn’t rhyme, but his narratives are lovely) and Dr. Seuss. Oh, the places I’d go? Wait. I should answer like this “I’d have to go with speaking in rhymes. It wouldn’t be so bad at times. I’d write best selling books, you could download on Nooks, just by speaking I’d craft all the lines.” Best seller list. Thanks.

    EgoTV: Have Hair like Don King OR a mustache like Hitler

    Eric Smith: Let’s go with Don King. His hair might be associated with slightly crazy, but at least it doesn’t go hand in hand with evil… though Cats That Look Like Hitler tend to be rather adorable. Too bad I’m not a kitten.

    EgoTV: What’s the worst way you’ve ever worn your hair/facial hair?

    Eric Smith: A handle bar mustache.

    EgoTV: Live to be 100 OR live only to be 60 but know everything you know now from Day 1?

    Eric Smith: Everything I know now? That includes so much, including ways to make gobs of money. I’d be like Lou from Hot Tub Time Machine. I’d write tons of books that I’ve read already, maybe start the band U2… it’d be awesome. Let’s go with 60.

    EgoTV: Have both you and your new girlfriend hear you’re parents having sex OR have your parents hear you and new girlfriend having sex?

    Eric Smith: I’ll have to go with my parents hearing me. My Dad’s hearing ain’t what it used to be, so I could likely make up some sort of outrageous story regarding what he just heard. Just the other day, when he was driving me to the train station after Thanksgiving, we had this exact conversation…

    Dad: So how are things?
    Me: Good. Work is fine, the book is great…
    Dad: …
    Me: Dad?
    Dad: …
    Me: I’m doing tons of drugs. All of them, actually.
    Dad: Oh that’s nice.

    … so I’m certain I’d get away with it.

    EgoTV: Meet your greatest hero, only to vomit on them OR in trying to meet them, be arrested for stalking?

    One time, I met one of my idols at a concert… the singer of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I was peeing at a urinal when he walked up and started peeing in the urinal next to me. I was there to see HIS band play. I’d been listening to his records through junior high. In my excitement I forgot I was peeing, turned to say hi, and peed on his shoe.

    So you know what? I’ll take the vomiting thing. Because I’ve already managed to get close to that.

    EgoTV: Who would it be and why?

    I think I’d meet Nick Hornby, because chances are, he’d laugh at it, and work it into one of his hilarious self deprecating narratives someplace.

    Eric Smith’s new book, Textual Healing, is available on Amazon.com. Check out his blog here.

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