Bret Michaels…WELCOME BACK YOU OLD POON HOUND!

 
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    November 4, 2010 at 5:00 am

    Bret Michaels

    Bret, my man, I was worried about you for a little while. Thought you’d gone soft on all of us (not in the pants but in the feelings department) but you’ve come back hard, HARD like a power ballad in between meal courses at a junior prom. Tsk, tsk, tsk with Tish, Tish, Tish. Bret, you old sailor! You old so-and-so! Was she built for speed, comfort or rock and roll?

    I got nervous my friend, I’ll sing you the God’s honest truth. After the head trauma ordeal, the turn on Celebrity Apprentice and the spin around the chick talk show circuit I thought the rocker bad boy of my youth was long gone and the cat drug in a sappy, feel good, every momma loves him goody two-boots. Oh Lord, and this show with your kids and their baby momma. Honestly, I can only watch for the occasional close-up of Kristi’s chest amps. Where was the guy that banged multiple skanks on Rock Of Love 1, 2 and STD Bus? Someone get Big John to knock some sense into this guy! (Not in the head John. He is tender above the neck.)

    I’d written you off Bret. Play him off C.C.! Then this bombshell hits that you’ve been talking dirty to Mrs. Billy Ray Hannah Montana. Wow. Let me stand up Bret. Let me stand up for a slow, long round of applause. Tish Cyrus. Tish the dish. Open up and say “ah” darling. Not only did you possibly achey breaky up a marriage but you used Miley as a pawn. Well done. The old bait and switch with the jail bait.

    Miley Cyrus and Tish Cyrus

    I can only hope this leads to another VH1 show like “Miley’s New Daddy” or maybe a duel tour where you sing on stage with her and scream with her mom behind the curtain. The possibilities are endless!

    “Ain’t Looking For Nothing! But a good time!
    How can I resist? Ain’t looking for nothing! But a good time.
    And it don’t get better than Tish!”

    Welcome back Bret. Every rose does indeed have it’s thorns and you’ll always be a clever, woman-loving prick.

     
     
     
    Comments
    1. dude says:

      he is still the man

     
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