How to Win a RiotAugust 10, 2011 at 1:00 pm
I’ve never been in a riot, but I’m assuming that the only reason people would fight each other, destroy property, and light things on fire is because there’s some sort of unspoken victory or defeat at stake. Therefore, it’s safe to assume that the goal of any right-minded rioter is to beat the police, right? If that’s the goal of rioting, then using video game magic is clearly the best way to accomplish it. After all, there’s no cop on earth who can stop a Street Fighter Hadouken. People are rioting like crazy these days so if you happen to find yourself in the midst of a riot, it’s probably best to just run away, as long as your not with a girl who gets attacked by ghosts while she’s running. If that’s the case, then you’re screwed. For more helpful yet speculative rioting tips, check out EgoTV’s Facebook Page and follow us on Twitter.
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Gorillamask – Track Girl Attacked By Ghost
Linkiest - The Best Baseball Meltdowns of All Time
Cityrag – Vandalized Movie Posters
Uproxx - Celebrity Time Travelers
Maxim – Maxim’s Back to School Guide
30 Awesome Guitar FacesAugust 10, 2011 at 7:30 am
Guitar Face (n.): The face that an incredible guitar player makes during a rockin’ guitar solo. Today is the 74th anniversary of the day the electric guitar was patented (like you didn’t already know that), so we’re celebrating with this gallery of rock legends giving us their best...
Great Bromances in World HistoryAugust 10, 2011 at 6:00 am
Urban Dictionary defines bromance as “a non-sexual relationship between two men that are unusually close.” In essence, it is a close partnership between gentlemen that exceeds friendship, but falls short of romantic affection. Today, the term has been hijacked by spikey-haired douchebags...
Animals on Trampolines (Videos)August 9, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Animals on trampolines are hilarious. If you’ve ever been on a trampoline before, then you already know how strange it is. It’s difficult for your body to grasp the concept of a trampoline even when we’re smart enough to completely understand how it works. Now imagine that you have...
Worst Babysitters EverAugust 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Warning: no matter how cheap their rates are, you should NEVER let a horde of punk rock zombies babysit your child. Zombies eat people, and a baby is just a little tiny person who can’t do anything (like defend itself, cry for help, call the authorities, etc.). That’s why, no matter how much your baby seems to be smiling and enjoying his time with the zombies, you should never leave the baby alone with them. They will eat it. That’s what zombies do. The only time it’s okay to leave your baby alone with zombies is if the baby is an adorable baby bear, because it’ll be able to take care of itself. A single baby bear is no match for even the largest horde of irritable zombies. For more baby tending tips, check out EgoTV’s Facebook Page and follow us on Twitter.
Maxim – What Nick Swardson Would Do with his Last 24 hrs.
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Holy Taco – The Fantastic Disco Klub
Moe Jackson – Amanda Seyfried is ALWAYS HOT
Gorillamask – Uncoordinated Chick vs. Pool Jump
CityRag – Star Wars Vegetable Sculptures
CelebSlam – This Chick is Stalking Kanye West
Smoking Jacket – The Cutest Russian Bear Attack Ever
The Amazing World of Drug Submarines InfographicAugust 9, 2011 at 10:42 am
Did you ever wonder how drugs keep getting into the U.S.? We’ve secured the crap out of the borders, and we dedicated billions of dollars to the War on Drugs over the past twenty years, but drugs are still getting across our borders. So how do those sneaky drug smugglers do it? Submarines. It might...
Babies in TuxedosAugust 9, 2011 at 6:00 am
There’s something strangely magical about babies in tuxedos. They’re like less threatening versions of the weird little backwards-talking dwarf in Twin Peaks. Most of the time babies just look like babies, but when babies are wearing tuxedos they all start to look like drunk wedding crashers....
Tottenham Riot PhotosAugust 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm
This weekend, London hosted the biggest riots the city has seen in 30 years. The rioting occured in the North London suburb of Tottenhem where, a few days ago, police shot and killed a suspected criminal in the streets in broad daylight. While this may seem like a fairly common occurence in the U.S.,...
Introducing the Space PonchoAugust 8, 2011 at 1:00 pm
According to this poncho’s packaging it’s perfect for emergencies, sporting events, space travel, and space. Yes, that’s right: space travel. If you really think about it, what is a space suit? It’s just a really fancy poncho, and the most difficult aspect of being in space (aside from the complete lack of oxygen, deadly freezing temperatures, and infinite darkness) is precipitation. You don’t want to be damp during space travel, do you? That’s why you need a poncho. Of course, everybody who ever wears ponchos looks completely ridiculous, which is why you need a neon poncho, to show that you’re dry, economical, and fashionable. For more great space travel fashion tips, check out EgoTV’s Facebook Page and follow us on Twitter.
Gorillamask – Slow Motion Skateboard Crashes are Awesome
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Holy Taco – How to Stop Riot Police
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Cityrag – Fergie Will Cut You
Celebslam - Spiderman is Banging Emma Stone
Guyism – This Girl Just Forgot How to Run
Maxim - Creepiest Interspecies Movie Hook Ups
7 People You’ll Encounter at the Convenience StoreAugust 8, 2011 at 6:00 am
Convenience stores are magical realms of 24-hour adventure. Whether you’re meandering through a convenience store trying to find a decent meal, rummaging through the shelves for a can of un-expired cat food, or just hopping in for a cheese-injected jumbo hot dog, you’re sure to encounter...
Lucille Ball PhotosAugust 5, 2011 at 3:31 pm
If Lucille Ball were still alive, she would be 100 years old today. Many people don’t realize that, before she became the most famous female comedian in the history of show business, Lucille Ball was an accomplished actor and model. In fact, she was smoking hot. She was like Kate Upton, if Kate...
Beware the Butt Slasher!August 5, 2011 at 1:00 pm
This news anchor’s face pretty much sums up what everyone is thinking: “what the hell does ‘butt slasher’ mean, exactly?” Is it someone dressed in a giant butt costume who runs around cutting people with a knife? Is there a doctor offering crazy discounts on posterior plastic surgery? Is it one of these crazy dudes? Sadly, it’s not nearly as funny as it should be. There’s a weirdo in Virginia who walks into convenience stores and slashes girls’ butts with a razor blade, then runs out of the store. Oh, Virginia, you so crazy! For more ways to senselessly harm innocent people in convenience stores, check out EgoTV’s Facebook Page and follow us on Twitter.
Maxim – Maxim Covergirls of 2011
Super Booyah – 25 Worst Movies on Netflix Instant
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Holy Taco – Clowns are Creepy
Moe Jackson – Miranda Kerr: The Quintessential MILF
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Celebslam – Sofia Vergara’s Brother is a Criminal
Smoking Jacket – 5 People Who Fought Sharks and Won
Gorillamask – Drunk Old Man vs. Drunk Old Man