EgoTV

Parrot Dancing the Dougie

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 16:45:44 +0000

Parrots rock out more than any other scientifically-observed species

Family Matters N-Bomb

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 16:40:38 +0000

They actually went there. For once, Urkel is speechless.

Man Sues All You Can Eat Place

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 16:35:17 +0000

The fact that it was a seafood restaurant makes us wonder if this man is Homer Simpson

Wheel of Fortune Fail

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 16:27:22 +0000

Or maybe this guy owns a bunch of magic wand vibrators and was just ashamed

25 Photos of Astronauts Eating in Zero Gravity

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:30:56 +0000

Thanks to what we can only assume is a covert robot uprising, a manned space voyage is a rarity in modern times. Fortunately, the excitement of strapping scientists to rockets like Wile E. Coyote will never die, and a three-man Soyuz capsule departed from Kazakhstan, yesterday. It’s destination is the International Space Station. In honor of this brave and solemn explorers, we found silly pictures of astronauts (and cosmonauts) eating in zero gravity to commemorate this important, ultra-serious moment. We’ve come a long way since John Glenn was given a tube of applesauce in space just to see if he could eat it:

Top 5 Things We Would Do with an MMA Championship Belt

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:00:54 +0000

Because it’s being auctioned

1. Wear the belt with no shirt to a public library, and attempt to stare down everyone there

2. Hold up our enormous parachute pants

3. Realize this is probably as close as we will ever get to our dream of becoming the W.W.F. Intercontinental Champion, seeing as how that no longer exists

4. Walk around with confidence that our junk is being protected from radiation

5. Sell it for cheap, fortified wine, just like we do all with our other possessions

Top 5 Reasons Princess Cruise Line Won’t Help Stranded Castaways

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:30:06 +0000

Full story here

1. Captain too busy waving to friends on shore

2. Someone that hungry could kill their buffet margins

3. Drunken passengers thought he was merely a tourist attraction

4. Princess has a strict policy against giving away free cruise trips

5. Thought flinging some coins overboard was enough

In-Store Parking

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:00:08 +0000

: How many of these firepeople pocketed some jewelery?

Pirate Ski Instructor

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 11:30:20 +0000

Nick Nastase is our Facebook friend. He made a video where he schools you about skiing with the power of rock. Also, he’s dressed as a pirate. It’s interesting to note that Nick is combining the type of cool bro who gets laid the most (ski instructor) with the type of cool bro who gets laid the least (pirate).

Human Centipede Virtual Pet

Evan Hoovler — Wed, 16 May 2012 11:00:56 +0000

Wait, there's no button for "sever the tendons on their legs"

The 7 Most Awkward Mark Zuckerberg Moments

Evan Hoovler — Tue, 15 May 2012 22:42:55 +0000

Mark Zuckerberg has been in his share of awkward moments throughout the years. And just as Facebook sees no sign of stopping anytime soon, we can only expect more awkward moments from the Zuck again soon.

Gas Station Explosion

Evan Hoovler — Tue, 15 May 2012 18:58:51 +0000

Don’t smoke around old Russian machinery, in general

Obscene Live Commercial

Evan Hoovler — Tue, 15 May 2012 18:53:39 +0000

Used car salesmen even get annoyed with each other

Target Pepper Spray Robbery

Evan Hoovler — Tue, 15 May 2012 18:49:19 +0000

Thank goodness it’s not a Big 5, or she could’ve been shot

Dog gets head stuck

Evan Hoovler — Tue, 15 May 2012 18:31:17 +0000

That’s what happens when you feed them cans of soda

20 Ancient Calendars to Screw up the Apocalypse Timetable

Evan Hoovler — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:30:42 +0000

The recent discovery of an ancient Mayan calendar disproves the notion that they thought the world would end later this year. To fill the void left in the hearts of apocalypse fans, everywhere, we dug up a slew of ancient calendars. Take a hard look and tell us if any of these predict impending doom (so we won’t wash our cars):

: Ancient Japanese

: Aztec

: Bulgarian

: Celtic

: Celtic

: Chinese

: Chamarro

: Chinese Gender Calendar

: Egyptian Festival Calendar

: Filipino

: Gregorian

: Jewish

: Julian

: Sumerian

: Egyptian

: Israel

: Jewish

: Egyptian

: Slavic

: Roman

Tom Arnold Dream Jobs – Beer-Maker

KendraLee — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:05:00 +0000

In this episode of Dream Jobs with Tom Arnold, Tom explores the art of beer-making. Tom learns how cool of a job it is to make beer for a living! He is assisted by his socialite friend Angel McCord, the sister of 90210′s AnnaLynne McCord. Enjoy this episode!

20 Breastfeeding Photos that Make Us Fear Attachment Parenting

Evan Hoovler — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:00:35 +0000

Attachment parenting is a huge modern parenting fad typically characterized by breastfeeding well into toddlerhood, keeping the child close to its mother at all times with a sling or by sharing a bed, and pretty much doing everything short of storing them in the original womb. We don’t really have a problem with breastfeeding older children, it’s the lack of reservedness some moms show. There might be 99 quiet, reserved attachment parents raising normal children for every 1 freak for all we know, because all we see is the lady in the supermarket breast-feeding a pre-teen. Breastfeeding walking, talking toddlers in public may be great for mom and child but it also creeps people out just a bit; and a mother who raises their child without concern of creeping people out raises a child who acts creepy. To illustrate our point, we found 20 pics of breastfeeding that make this controversial method look less like “parents concerned for their child’s upbringing” and more like “parents desperately craving attention enough to risk seriously screwing up their kids”: