Top 5 Lists
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Top 5 Jack-o-Lanterns That Would Annoy the Crap out of Us
1. A pumpkin holding a gun with a bunch of pumpkin goop oozing out of a hole in its head
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Top 5 Reasons There Aren’t as Many Horses Now as There Were in 1916
1. Those bleeding heart liberals and their stupid horse control policies
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Top 5 International Topics We Hope Get Covered in Tonight’s Presidential Debate
1. Who would look better in Muammar Gaddafi’s fabulous seized wardrobe?
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Top 5 Reasons to Stop Calling them the Washington “Redskins”
1. Every time they get massacred at home, it’s metaphorically sickening
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Top 5 Ways Our World Will Change Now That Newsweek Stopped Printing
1. Can no longer peruse it in the magazine aisle when trying to impress classy dames at Wal-Mart
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Top 5 Moments During the Presidential Debate Which Confused Us
1. When Mitt Romney described his prison down-sizing program as “binders full of inmates”
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Top 5 Reasons To Live on a Planet with Four Suns
1. Because everyone wears dark sunglasses, no one will ever suspect you have a hangover
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Top 5 Surprising Revelations We Had While Watching the Vice Presidential Debates
1. Both candidates decided to wear Halloween costume of a normal human being
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Top 5 Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Games
1. Take a shot every time a candidate mentions that his health plan covers alcoholism
