Top 5 Lists
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Top 5 Black Friday Mishaps We Caused
1. While standing in the Best Buy parking lot, making fun of people camped out in line, we got hit by a flying bottle.
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Our Top 5 Fondest Drunken Thanksgiving Memories
1. Our confused Grandma thinking she’s at Black Friday, and smash-grabbing all of our electronics
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Top 5 Easiest Ways To Cook a Thanksgiving Turkey
1. Toss turkey in a hot tub. Baste yourself in olive oil, then sit in the tub for 3 hours
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Top 5 Ways America Will Change Now That Hostess Is Bankrupt
1. The U.S. will get a little less fat, but a little more jobless
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Top 5 Surprising Benefits of Swallowing 200 Diamonds
1. Women don’t mind if you throw up on them
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Top 5 Ways 5-Hour Energy Drink Can Kill You
1. Due to E=mc squared, drinking too many causes your weight to skyrocket until you become a black hole
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Top 5 Reasons Using a Holiday Inn Express as a Prison Is a Bad Idea
1. Serving their continental breakfast constitutes an additional human rights violation
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Top 5 Ways the Los Angeles Lakers Lied to Phil Jackson
1. Was paid in courtside tickets, but wasn’t told he would be using those tickets as head coach
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Top 5 Heated Issues that NASCAR Drivers Brawl over
1. Whether they should leave their left turn signal on during the entire race
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Top 5 Ways Obama Can Quickly overcome the Fiscal Cliff
1. Medicare becomes a protected religious institution, as it is already mostly faith-based
