Top 5 Lists
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Top 5 Reasons the King of Sweden Is Obsessed with Handball
1. Hand-propelled ball is his country’s preferred method of subduing dangerous criminals
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Top 5 Other Ways that Olympic Swimmers Cheat
1. China has spent decades genetically engineering porpoise-human hybrids
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Top 5 Reasons Politicians Don’t Pay Their Taxes
1. Since their salary is paid by taxes, they figured they were just skipping the middleman to save America a few bucks
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Top 5 Reasons Sharon Osbourne Quit `America’s Got Talent’
1. Having screened every American, she is no longer convinced they have any talent
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Top 5 Things We’d Like to See Olympians Do on a Drunken Bender
1. See if the Queen’s tongue is really as velvety-smooth as people say it is
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Top 5 Reasons Someone Paid $1 Billion Dollars To Buy the Cleveland Browns
1. To convert the stadium into a homeless shelter that houses every person in Cleveland
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Top 5 Reasons a Bunch of Olympic Badminton Teams Tried To Lose
1. Did not realize they would bring such shame to the dignified sport of “hitting a children’s toy over a tiny net with a teeny-weeny racket”
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Top 5 Things Michael Phelps Will Do with His Record-Setting 19 Olympic Medals
1. Craft them into a gold-plated grill to fix his crooked mouth
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Top 5 Olympic-Themed Drinking Games
1.The Marathon: Try to finish 26 drinks before a runner can complete the 26-mile race
