Top 5 Lists
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Top 5 Reasons It’s Time To Dump Your Fake Online Girlfriend
1. Tired of MTV camera crews showing up at your house trying to document your pathetic pain
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Top 5 Things We Learned Watching the New David Bowie Music Video
1. Watching the new David Bowie music video, we learned that time can continually push the boundaries of how creepy a man can look
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Top 5 Things We Learned Watching Alabama Crush Notre Dame
1. Watching Alabama crush Notre Dame made us realize that nobody else finds the phrase “crimson tide” dirty
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Top 5 Reasons Google’s Leader Is Visiting North Korea
1. Google‘s leader is considering revoking the free meals for employees, and wants to see firsthand how North Korea revoked meals for almost everyone
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Top 5 Changes Now That Al-Jazeera Owns Al Gore’s TV Network
1. Al Gore’s TV network slogan changed from “programming without the distracting filter of entertainment” to the catchier “All Al, All the Time”
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Our Top 5 New Year’s Resolutions
1. To stop streaking through our city hall meetings. Come to think of it, this was less of our New Year’s resolution, and more of a court order.
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Top Five Types of People Who Hate New Year’s Eve
1. All of the seasonal elf employment Santa Claus just laid off are people that hate New Year’s Eve
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Top 5 Ways an Alien Earth Could Be Different
1. An alien Earth could be different because aliens could be picking up Earth TV signals, and therefore want to attack every Earthling that comes near
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Top 5 Ways To Stay Warm without Power in a Northeast Snowstorm
1. A good way to stay warm without power in a Northeast Snowstorm is to find a circle of people who are smoking and stand in the middle
