Humor
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5 Porn Fan Fiction Stories to Give You Nightmares
There’s nothing to ruin your happy memories of childhood like a Cheeto-crusted man’s inappropriately sexual fan fiction featuring Sonic the Hedgehog’s boner or some other innocent cartoon you once loved.
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The 7 Types of People Who Get Tattoos
In their quest to literally brand themselves as original, almost every tattoo recipient puts themselves into a distinct category. Ironic, isn’t it?
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5 Reasons the Entire Country Will Soon be Fat
Over 72.5 million obese mounds of flesh are struggling to breathe at this very moment. They waddle through the streets, roll through WalMart on their electric scooters and physically mesh into the fabric of their couches. Unemployment is high, fast food is cheap and transportation to the park or vegetable...
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5 Types of Creeps on OkCupid
These creeps need dates like oxygen to survive. Study up, so we can all collectively starve them off of our Internet and maybe GYVS from a normal person for a change:
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EgoTV Goes To an Amateur Cat Show
by Drew Villano I went to a cat show. It was entirely an accident. I was driving to some trailer park BBQ in the backwoods of Pennsylvania when I found a crappy handwritten show that said CAT SHOW with a scribbly arrow pointing to the area behind Home Depot.
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No One Likes Your Instagram!
Everyone with an iPhone and zero sense of quality filtering is now absolutely obsessed with Instagram. And by “obsessed with Instagram” I mean “obsessed with garnering more followers because we’re all attention whores at heart.”
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5 Reasons Burning Man Is Not as Cool as You Think
Call us old-fashioned, but in our day a handful of drugs and $350 was enough to have a good time without also needing to drive hundreds of miles into the desert. Also, in our day, a large group of people paying a fee to get together en masse for partying and sex was called a “frat party.”
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The Hilariously Depressing Theme Songs of Classic TV Sitcoms
For some reason, in the 1980s, there was a huge influx of lighthearted TV shows about heartbreaking premises. Some of these situation “comedies” went so far as to bum the viewer out before the theme song was over:
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5 Ways Lab Rats Are Being Turned In To Super Soldiers
Our greatest scientific minds have slaved away in labs for years attempting to find ways to cure what ails us. In their valiant crusade to better the human race through science, they have relied upon the help of lowly, fuzzy creatures known as lab mice, which are no different than regular mice – that...
