Humor

 
  • 5 Reasons Not to Give Your Baby or Toddler an iPad

    5 Reasons Not to Give Your Baby or Toddler an iPad

    It’s not just these 5 reasons not to give your baby or toddler an iPad: Your child has plenty of time to grow up to be a tech-obsessed sperglord unable to form real emotional connections with others. You don’t need to start them at age 1. 

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  • Celebrate Thanksgiving by Thinking Critically about American Suppression: Prison is a Big Business

    Celebrate Thanksgiving by Thinking Critically about American Suppression: Prison is a Big Business

    What was constructed to ‘protect’ society’s upright, law-abiding citizens has been abused and manipulated by the powers that be, the man behind the curtain, the reptilians and stem-cell bred aliens that we call the American government.

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  • 5 Porn Fan Fiction Stories to Give You Nightmares

    5 Porn Fan Fiction Stories to Give You Nightmares

    There’s nothing to ruin your happy memories of childhood like a Cheeto-crusted man’s inappropriately sexual fan fiction featuring Sonic the Hedgehog’s boner or some other innocent cartoon you once loved.

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  • The 7 Types of People Who Get Tattoos

    The 7 Types of People Who Get Tattoos

    In their quest to literally brand themselves as original, almost every tattoo recipient puts themselves into a distinct category. Ironic, isn’t it?

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  • 5 Reasons the Entire Country Will Soon be Fat

    5 Reasons the Entire Country Will Soon be Fat

    Over 72.5 million obese mounds of flesh are struggling to breathe at this very moment. They waddle through the streets, roll through WalMart on their electric scooters and physically mesh into the fabric of their couches. Unemployment is high, fast food is cheap and transportation to the park or vegetable...

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  • 5 Types of Creeps on OkCupid

    5 Types of Creeps on OkCupid

    These creeps need dates like oxygen to survive. Study up, so we can all collectively starve them off of our Internet and maybe GYVS from a normal person for a change:

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  • EgoTV Goes To an Amateur Cat Show

    EgoTV Goes To an Amateur Cat Show

    by Drew Villano I went to a cat show. It was entirely an accident. I was driving to some trailer park BBQ in the backwoods of Pennsylvania when I found a crappy handwritten show that said CAT SHOW with a scribbly arrow pointing to the area behind Home Depot.

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  • No One Likes Your Instagram!

    No One Likes Your Instagram!

    Everyone with an iPhone and zero sense of quality filtering is now absolutely obsessed with Instagram. And by “obsessed with Instagram” I mean “obsessed with garnering more followers because we’re all attention whores at heart.”

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  • 5 Reasons Burning Man Is Not as Cool as You Think

    5 Reasons Burning Man Is Not as Cool as You Think

    Call us old-fashioned, but in our day a handful of drugs and $350 was enough to have a good time without also needing to drive hundreds of miles into the desert. Also, in our day, a large group of people paying a fee to get together en masse for partying and sex was called a “frat party.”

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  • The Hilariously Depressing Theme Songs of Classic TV Sitcoms

    The Hilariously Depressing Theme Songs of Classic TV Sitcoms

    For some reason, in the 1980s, there was a huge influx of lighthearted TV shows about heartbreaking premises. Some of these situation “comedies” went so far as to bum the viewer out before the theme song was over:

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