Celebrities
-
Top 5 Ways the Dead Michael Jackson Will Be Used To Sell Pepsi
Yes, this is really happening 1. Remake “Thriller” starring a real corpse 2. Instead of his hair catching fire on-camera, they just cremate him 3. Holographic duet with Tupac at next Coachella 4. Declare his bid for U.S. President as a member of the Refreshmocrat political party 5. Pepsi...
-
I HATE THIS FILM: An Avengers Movie Review by Bizarro Superman
I recently went to the Avengers with the intent of writing a movie review. But I already knew I was going to hate this movie before I even walked into the theater. I was standing in line, and some punk teens started making fun of me for my out-of-place Superman costume. I tried to explain that it wasn’t...
-
Top 5 Ways Octomom Will Raise $1,000,000 to Recover from Bankruptcy
1. At $7740 per kid for welfare each year, all she has to do is have 130 more kids 2. Alternately, she got paid $4,000 for each breast she showed for a British tabloid, so she could show 250 more breasts (provided she has them) 3. Sign a lucrative contract to have her kids face off against Jon &...
-
25 Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions
Kanye West is the most recent victim of a celebrity wardrobe malfunction. But, ever since Janet Jackson popularized the term “wardrobe malfunction” for “check out my pasty,” it’s been fashionable for celebrities to have their clothes slip off in public. Since we often find...
-
Top 5 Places Escaped Chinese Activist Chen Guangcheng Is Hiding Out
1. Inside fake North Korean missile 2. In an empty movie theater that is either abandoned or showing The Five Year Engagement. 3. On an asteroid, or at the bottom of the ocean… pretty much wherever James Cameron currently is. 4. Window-washing platform outside the World Trade Center’s 90th...
-
Your Guide to this Summer’s Hottest Movies
Your Guide to this Summer’s Hottest Movies by Gloomy, the alcoholic Smurf. Gloomy here. My probation officer recommended I attempt to release some of my anger through writing, since I enjoy penning so many death threats to my fellow Smurfs. Rather than risk another two days of maximum Smurf punishment...
-
20 Mugshots of Beauty Queens
Recently, a beauty queen who won Miss New Hampshire U.S.A. was arrested for fighting with her boyfriend. Oddly enough, her mug shot looks decent, which is weird because mug shot photos are the only way to make someone look worse than they do on their driver’s license. Wondering if every beauty...
-
Lindsay Lohan Aging 25 Years in 60 Seconds
Sadly, this all happened during the course of one single party
-
Top 5 Things Obama Thought During the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
1. “What the hell is Lindsay Lohan doing here? I told her to just leave the package with my aides.” 2. “What’s the point in charging thousands of dollars per plate when Kate Upton doesn’t eat anything?” 3. “How is Chace Crawford here? I thought I ordered Gossip...
-
5 Famous Movie Songs (That Were Last-Minute Replacements)
When an awesome famous movie song matches up with the perfect film scene, the results can be seen as popular art at its finest. Which is why it can be shocking to realize that a lot of these amazing song-film synergies are due to dumb luck. With that in mind, we found 5 famous movie songs that weren’t...
