Articles

 
  • Why All Your Genius Friends Are Dicks

    Why All Your Genius Friends Are Dicks

    Do you ever wonder why the smartest, most interesting people seem to be capable of being both the kindest, most insightful people you know and the biggest jerks you’ve ever met? If not, you might not have any borderline genius friends. If so, congratulations! You’ve managed to find a few...

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  • World's Largest Echo Chamber: Things I hate about Facebook!

    World’s Largest Echo Chamber: Things I hate about Facebook!

    The Facebook environment is the world’s largest echo chamber!

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  • What to Do When Someone is Treating You Like an Asshole

    What to Do When Someone is Treating You Like an Asshole

    Whether it’s your boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, coworker, or parent, no one likes to be made to feel like a lesser being by someone considered at least somewhat important to them. So what do you do when someone in your life is denting up your already-shitty self-esteem with a bunch of insulting,...

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  • How to Make Your Overbearing Parents Respect Your Independence

    How to Make Your Overbearing Parents Respect Your Independence

    This one’s a real bitch, both literally and figuratively. Fuck off, mom. I’ll do what I want! Seriously though; there comes a time when you need to spread your sheltered little wings and fly at least a short distance away from your overbearing parents, who love you very much but are ultimately...

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  • 5 Ways to Trick Your Dominatrix into Reduced Price Healthcare

    5 Ways to Trick Your Dominatrix into Reduced Price Healthcare

    There is considerable debate about the benefits of the new Affordable Health Care Act, aka ObamaCare. Before our society takes a full leap into socialized healthcare, getting reduced price healthcare is still on a lot of people’s minds.

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  • Quotes From My Slutty, Crazy, Depressed 7th Grade Diary

    Quotes From My Slutty, Crazy, Depressed 7th Grade Diary

    I was not that much less of a shithead in 7th grade than I am now, and here are some hilarious, ridiculous and absurd quotes from my 7th grade diary to prove it. Sorry, mom.

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  • For Virgin Boys Only: How to Date a Non-Virgin

    For Virgin Boys Only: How to Date a Non-Virgin

    If you’re a prematurely ejaculating virgin sperglord but have somehow landed a third date with a totally hot girl who seems inexplicably and overly into you, don’t panic. Here’s what to do if you’re worried about screwing up the whole thing just because you’re inexperienced.

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  • Does Phil Collins Sing About Love?  Or Landlord Tenant Relations?

    Does Phil Collins Sing About Love? Or Landlord Tenant Relations?

    What drives Phil Collin’s lyrical reasoning?  Maybe it’s something abstract like love?  Or, maybe its something concrete like landlord tenant relations? 

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  • What to do if You're Dying

    What to do if You’re Dying

    Congratulations! You have a terminal illness. If you just found out you’re going to die a slow, painful death sometime in the near future and don’t know how to begin dealing with all the doctor’s visits, paperwork to fill out, and general bureaucracy of the shitty American ‘system’...

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  • Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

    Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

    Honesty is the best policy; that’s what my grandmother says. That’s what a lot of old people say. But is it really true? Isn’t lying often a lot easier and, let’s be honest, often more beneficial to all parties involved? The answer to that two part question is yes and then no,...

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