Articles

 
  • Ghost Towns in Upstate New York – Brownville and Groton City

    Ghost Towns in Upstate New York – Brownville and Groton City

    I embarked on a journey to find two ghost towns in upstate New York: Groton City and Brownville (outside of Monticello, New York). I didn’t find any ghosts, but I did discover a wealth of illegally dumped, illegally hunted animals, a dirty mattress, a baby carriage and some shotgun shells. If you’re...

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  • The Weird and Wacky World of Spa Treatments

    The Weird and Wacky World of Spa Treatments

    I heard that Kim Kardashian got a blood facial, but I couldn’t find out what type of blood was used. And I’m not going to lie: I sort of want one, too. Not because Kim Kardashian got it, but because such a thing exists.

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  • How to Become a Cyborg

    How to Become a Cyborg

    People are always coming up to me and asking, when will we become cyborgs? The answer is right now, if you’re a billionaire on a strange and somewhat pointless mission. Here’s how you, too, can be a cyborg.

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  • 20 Photos of Epic Mom Baseball Fails

    20 Photos of Epic Mom Baseball Fails

    Sometimes moms get a little too involved with the game. Or a little too involved with drinking. 

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  • Sesame Street: Evil, Awful, and Terrible for Kids

    Sesame Street: Evil, Awful, and Terrible for Kids

    Sesame Street is lauded by 80s and 90s babies as one of the most educational, memorable kid’s shows to ever exist. But this cherishing is horribly misguided; below the surface of smiling muppets, spelling creatures and counting vampires lies multiple dimensions of treachery designed to manipulate...

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  • Sadly, There’s Down Syndrome Porn, Down Syndrome Boxing, and a Sexy Down Syndrome Soap Opera

    Sadly, There’s Down Syndrome Porn, Down Syndrome Boxing, and a Sexy Down Syndrome Soap Opera

    Let me start out by saying that I am sorry for writing this article. Down Syndrome people are just like normal people except that their faces look a little funny and they’re a little slow in the brain department. But those two characteristics apply to a lot of people who don’t have Down Syndrome,...

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  • The Worst of This Week’s News

    The Worst of This Week’s News

    Between terrible priorities, tabloid reporting and bad attitudes around the world, the news is comically shitty. Here is the worst of it from this week.

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  • 5 Things I Hate About The Sims 3

    5 Things I Hate About The Sims 3

    Between putting in a cheat to receive large quantities of money so I can build my dream house (complete with a ladderless, death-pit pool to devour my unruly Sims) and struggling to keep a 7-Sim family afloat without any help at all, there is almost nothing I don’t like about The Sims. Almost....

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  • Terrible Non-Rap Stuff Made by Rappers

    Terrible Non-Rap Stuff Made by Rappers

    Rappers are highly motivated entrepreneurial geniuses who will blow you away with the following businesses they thought up from the deepest crevices of their blunt demolishing craniums. Here are five terrible — or awesome — non-rap ventures created by rappers: Biggie’s Ghost The Notorious...

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  • 4 Dead Reality TV Shows That Are Better Than Anything on TV, Today

    4 Dead Reality TV Shows That Are Better Than Anything on TV, Today

    Reality television sucks. Annoying, brain-melting commercials every five minutes, a lack of real drama (duck whistles — really?), and editors who think audiences are so stupid they need every detail of every event repeated 10 times before the next segment of the show can begin

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