What Scares You More: The Guy on the Quaker Oats Box or the Weird ‘Six Flags’ Dude?
Okay, you’re sitting there, hungry, wanting breakfast. You have the hankering for some hardy oatmeal. You open your cabinet, reach for the box and….
AGGGHHHH!!! It’s the Quaker Oats Guy!!!! That rosy-cheeked old dude who looks like a cross in between Ben Franklin and the Zodiac Killer. I mean, why can’t Quaker Oatmeal at least come [...]
A Look Through Ichiro’s Amazing Career
Picture this. You’re 5′9, 124 pounds, and you were born in Kasugai, Japan. What do you think are your chances for being a star in the major leagues? How about one of the greatest players of all-time? That’s right. All-time.
Well, that’s exactly what Ichiro Suzuki has done. The diminutive freak of nature is such a [...]
Let’s Put It to Rest: Beatles or Rolling Stones?
We’ve tackled Marvel vs DC comics and we’ve tackled Star Wars vs. Godfather. Now, we here at EGOtv take on a question as old as Rock n’ Roll. Who’s the best rock band of all time: The Beatles or The Rolling Stones? Lennon/McCartney or Jagger/Richards? Longevity, or that magical short-lived yet prolific crazy decade of the [...]
If You Had the Ability to See the Future and You Were a Douchebag, What Would You Do?
Marty Beck was poor. His financial troubles made it difficult for him to, let’s say, get ahead? Okay, he hadn’t so much as come within a mile of getting laid in a long, long time. Instead of looking for jobs, by day he would snorkel in the Central Park wishing well fountain, fishing for mounds [...]
What Baseball Will Be Like in 25 Years
As Americans, we have a hard time tampering with something as “sacred” as the national pastime. Yet in the past sixty years, we’ve seen integration, free agency, expansion teams, realignment and adding of divisions, labor strikes, interleague play, and Barry Bonds, the sport’s all-time home run king, dressed in drag. If you were watching any [...]
What Scares You More: Being a Police Officer in Southern Arizona or Facing Rangers’ Pitcher Neftali Feliz?
As many of you know, the state of Arizona just passed a new law, whereby if a police officer has “reason” to believe your actions indicate that you may be an illegal immigrant, they can ask you for your citizenship papers, haul you into jail, and then, if you are, in fact, an illegal immigrant, [...]
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Who Would You Rather… If You Were Jack Donaghy?
A current storyline in the current season of 30 ROCK is executive Jack Donaghy’s conundrum: the decision of whom to have regular sex with. He knows that he can’t have them both, but this doesn’t prevent him from delaying the decision for as long as humanly possible. Indeed, who could choose between your long-lost love [...]
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