Why All Your Genius Friends Are Dicks

    September 2, 2013 at 2:57 am

    Do you ever wonder why the smartest, most interesting people seem to be capable of being both the kindest, most insightful people you know and the biggest jerks you’ve ever met? If not, you might not have any borderline genius friends. If so, congratulations! You’ve managed to find a few people who aren’t totally boring losers like the rest of us.

    Now I’m not saying that you have to be a maladjusted weirdo to be smart, but I have found that most of the unreasonably intelligent, prodigy-type people I have ever met tend to be totally insane, total jerks or both. While they have impressed me with their kindness and die-for-you style of friendship, I have also found myself blown away by how incredibly terrible they can be to themselves and those around them.

    People who are smarter than the rest of us are that way because they are capable of feeling emotions more deeply and more intensely than most people in this stupid world, and are therefore capable of more extreme things both good and bad. Once you accept this and their issues, your friendship can blossom into the bizarre and mutated flower it was always meant to be.

    Don’t try to force your dickhead friends into not being dickheads anymore. That will never, ever work. Realize what you can expect from them, what you can gain from them, and mold yourself to suit both your and their needs. That is to say, put up with their shittiness to an extent; you want to be able to reap the benefits of the friendship without driving yourself insane or feeling hurt by them all the time. If you can find a way to do this, you will be better able to fully appreciate all the beautiful and wonderful things they have to offer. You’ll also be less offended when you realize that it wasn’t personal when Douglas was blackout drunk and trying to stab you with a broken bottle, or when your offhand comment about your friend’s outfit sends her into a mental breakdown that lasts for three days.

    If you’re having trouble telling whether or not one of your unruly, difficult friends is a genius or not, then they are probably just a plain old asshole. Sorry.

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