5 Ways to Trick Your Dominatrix into Reduced Price Healthcare

 
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    August 14, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    There is considerable debate about the benefits of the new Affordable Health Care Act, aka ObamaCare. Before our society takes a full leap into socialized healthcare, getting reduced price healthcare is still on a lot of people’s minds. When going over one’s healthcare choices, there is a lot of complicated stuff and acronyms we know nothing about.  While professional dominatrices might not be able to offer the same services of doctors, and their ethics may involve hurting the patient intentionally, professional dominatrices offer a reduced price alternative to using the current healthcare system.  For some ailments, tricking your dominatrix may be a great way to receive reduced price healthcare. Here are 5 ways to trick you dominatrix into giving you reduced price healthcare.

    Urology-Visits to the urologist are expensive.  On one hand you take time out of your busy day to wait in line, pay a large copayment, haggle about insurance, and do a bunch of paperwork.  All so some rushed urologist spends a few moments with a urinary dipstick, fondles your pee pee and says everything is fine.  A professional dominatrix will be less rushed, may be willing to call you a “dipstick”, insert a sound in your urethra and even fondle your pee pee all while calling you dirty names.

    Old Doctor and dominatrix

    Two professionals offer the same service

    Therapy-Some professional dominatrices may offer what is called a girlfriend experience.  Ironically, for most people, it’s their girlfriend experience that leads them to calling professional dominatrices in the first place.   Nevertheless, if you are looking for therapy and your options are either paying 200 dollars an hour to tell some bald dude that you are an awful human being, or have some hot chick tell you that you are a vile piece of crap not worth licking the scum off her boot, the latter option may be the more feasible alternative.

    Licking dominatrix boot

    multiple paths, same result to reduced price healthcare

    Chiropracty- somewhere chiropractors fall in between Doctors of Osteopathic medicine and the lawyer commercials advertised on daytime television.  They are almost legitimate, but still a little shady.  Often chiropractor visits will result in chronic back pain that requires numerous followup visits and a severe hit to your pocketbook.  For considerably less time and money, a professional dominatrix will straighten your back and other parts of your body using time honored techniques of restraints, sensory deprivation, and verbal humiliation.

    Better Call Saul

    One of these services will cost you considerably less

     

    Smoking Cessation- Many doctors are still in cahoots with the nicotine companies.  If you are trying to quit smoking, typical doctors will prescribe various nicotine lozenges and anti smoking aids to help you quit smoking.   This takes a lot of time and gives you the shakes. A professional dominatrix using your mouth as a personal ashtray will make you quit smoking instantly.  If you don’t quit, you will be punished.

    Quit Smoking

    Which method do you think will help you quit smoking faster?

     

    Castration-Voluntary castrations are very expensive and time consuming.  First, professional ethics entail a person needs to speak with licensed healthcare professional repeatedly over multiple visits. Meanwhile, for each delay in receiving their elective surgery, a person is more likely to lose interest in losing their balls.  To prevent this idea from just being a fad, this process still costs lots of time and money.  If a person really wants to be castrated, some professional dominatrices are knowledgeable and more than willing.  This can reduce the price 98 percent!!!

    man tied down

    Stay patient, I placed my burdizzo somewhere around here.

    Tricking your dominatrix into giving you reduced price healthcare might not be everyone’s cup of tea.  For one, a good dominatrix will utilize pain to cure you of your ails, while the current healthcare system fixes your ails to cure you of your pain.  For some medical procedures, these items intersect and it can be much more worthwhile to trick a professional dominatrix into giving you reduced price health care.  If you tricked your dominatrix into reduced price healthcare, they might not like it.  They may get upset at being coerced and take out their venom on you.  Do not be alarmed.  This is why people pay good money for a dominatrix.  Regardless of how expensive the professional dominatrices’ fee is, it still may be less expensive and more enjoyable than visiting a doctor.

     

     
     
     
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