Quotes From My Slutty, Crazy, Depressed 7th Grade Diary

 
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    August 13, 2013 at 2:11 am

    I was not that much less of a shithead in 7th grade than I am now, and here are some hilarious, ridiculous and absurd quotes from my 7th grade diary to prove it. Sorry, mom.

    Johnny Knoxville is such a hottie.

    Gary came over today. I said that he was being too horny and he said he was sorry.

    I might have mono.
    Pros:
    – Missing school for weeks
    – Not having to deal with people
    – Being served
    – Getting to be online all day

    Cons:
    – Miss all my work
    – Looks bad on my record
    – Get made fun of
    – No one will want to kiss me.
    The pros outweigh the cons. I hope I have it!

    My parents shouldn’t be reading this diary if I’m alive. If I’m dead then fine — do whatever the fuck you want. If I’m dead, don’t be too sad.

    He did that thing on my neck again (with his mouth) and played with my hair. It’s amazing and he’s so cool!

    On Friday Brule smoked weed with his friends. They put XTC in it but he didn’t know. It messed him up and had to be taken to the hospital and was grounded for a week.

    April 4 – I love Brule!!
    April 14 – I don’t love Brule. He lied to me. He’s going to rehab.

    We talked about the homework, which I didn’t do.

    Here’s something about sex. I think anything is OK except whips or anything that involves too much pain, or death.

    Maybe when I’m older I’ll have my own fashion company. BitchWear sounds cool.

    He’s my soulmate. I know it’s early to think of stuff like that, but f*ck off and die.

    I like to look sexy! I’m hot. A lot of times I look really good. I’m not being conceided [sic].

    I’m watching Temptation Island. The people on it are really HOT.

     
     
     
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