Best Ways to Travel Across Country With Only a Backpack

    July 31, 2013 at 11:32 am

    In the future, the best way to travel across the country with only a backpack, may be to have your own jetpack.With a jetpack, all you would need to do is travel straight up into the stratosphere, enjoy a few drinks in the skybar, let the geosphere rotate below you, and slowly descend to your destination.  In the meantime, enjoy these best ways to travel across country with only your backpack.

    Greyhound-Don’t get fooled.  Sure the prices are cheaper and less expensive than any other option, but you really need to understand the clientele.  Maybe you’ll get lucky and will be traveling with nice people, but there is really no nice way to tell the overweight woman that you will be sitting next to for the next 6 days that she smells awful and her bag of recyclables is encroaching on your personal space.

    Greyhound Bus

    Sometimes Greyhound buses are late for unexplainable reasons

    Walking-American History books are rife with stories of adventurous gogetters making lives for themselves by uprooting everything and traveling westward by foot.  This is dandy and all, but is generally considered a 19th century method of traveling. Here in the 21st century, we’re a little bit lazier.  Maybe when you get to your destination, you can send a telegram to your loved ones so they don’t worry about you.

    Oregon Trail Selection Screen

    Traveling by foot means lots of text based decisions to make

    Ride Share-Going by the acronym #YOLO, I decided I would rely on Craigslist rideshare and head to New York City from San Francisco.  What I learned is that the general flow of people are headed westward and its not only difficult to travel through the Midwest, but Bridgeport, South Dakota is a pretty cruddy place to be stranded indefinitely.

    Desolate City

    This is not actually Bridgeport. Bridgeport is actually pictureesque. I would have an actual picture if I didn't pawn my cell phone to get home.

    Bicycle-This is probably the most cost-efficient way to travel across the country with only a backpack.  Still, this takes forever. Similar to walking, you’ll need things like compasses, camping gear, emergency provisions, first aid kits, etc, basically, its you and your backpack full of responsibility.  This seriously curtails your room for booze.

    Overloaded Bike

    Unless you are like this guy who carefully priorly properly planned

    Train-While considerably more expensive than flying, the route directions and instructions play out like a really slooow Californian’s sketch.  For instance, from Los Angeles to New York City, first you take the 785 to Santa Barbara where you will have a 10 minute window to take the 4785 to Emeryville for 8 hours.  Then after a three hour layover, take the California Zephyr Train for 51 hours to Chicago.   Then wait another three hours and take the train from Chicago to New York City for 27 hours where you’ll arrive at New York Penn Station.

    Amtrak Prices
    Ironically, the United States government subsidizes Amtrak heavily

    Yet this trip still costs considerably more than…

    Flying– If you have to take off your shoe for your own safety and others’ safety, then think about things a little more critically.  The reality is there no other faster way to transverse time and distance than getting into a large anodized aluminum tube traveling 5 miles into the air at 600 miles an hour. So if your flight gets delayed half an hour or the pilot doesn’t want to leave the tarmac because there is lightning in the sky, grin and bear it.  This is probably the best way to get anywhere in the country with only your backpack.

    Upset Airplane Passnegers

    Is this a scene of irate passengers or Asian zombies?




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