Things Happen, Things Change and Things get Bastardized-Or-How to Look Forward 100 Years into The Future

 
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    July 12, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Use this Guide to Look Forward 100 Years into The Future

    When looking forward 100 years into the future it is important to consider that the current world is based off ideas of the past.  These ideas from the past act upon changing elements in the current world to be completely bastardized 100 years into the future.

    Georg Hegel lays this idea out as historical dialecticism.  This was big in the 19th century.  By usng this framework of thinking, you too can predict the future.

    Gee George, you mean to tell me that the framework of the current world is based on ideas of the past?

    Countercultural values

    The original Haight-Ashbury is a famous intersection in San Francisco that defines the birthplace and cultural values of the free love and hippy subculture.  Then institutional investors got into the mix.  Now, the Haight Ashbury intersection is completely bastardized by clothing stores and a corporate ice cream stand.

     

    Movies

    The Godfather I was a great film.  Its antithesis was the Godfather Part II.  Also a great film.  By the time The Godfather III came about, the franchise had been completely bastardized that nobody can remember any significant plot points.  The fact this film has any imdb credibility is because many people thought this was the version edited to be one long continuous film.

    Godfather 3

    Spoiler Alert: Godfather 3 is bastardized in more ways than one

    Automobiles

    Henry Ford once said, “you can purchase any color of car” as long as it’s black.  Eventually people were allowed to purchase white cars.  Then a cornucopia of colors and styles emerged all stemming from this original synthesis of only being able to purchase a black car.   In the future, people in fact, will be able to purchase any color car, as long as it isn’t black. This is because black is hard to see while night driving.

    Henry Ford could not have predicted a flaming octopus car

     

    Traditional Marriage Values

    In previous times only men and women would marry.  This was culturally accepted.  Nowadays, there is a huge societal push for gay marriages.  In the future, the original idea will be so completely bastardized that anybody will be allowed to marry anything.  There will be a huge push for gay disabled animals to be able to marry each other to achieve federal tax benefits and rights of survivorship.

    Fortunately, the sanctity of marriage will be upheld by disallowing polyandry in the future

    Weapons

    The framers of the United States constitution carefully safeguarded a person’s welfare by implementing the 2nd amendment.  While this allowed for personal protection via the right to bear arms, it was not worded to include the idea of automatic muskets.  This idea eventually will be bastardized to the point that in 100 years into the future, the original language will be used as legal precedent to argue for the practice of gay fisting.  Sorry for the shitty pun.  Get it bear… fisting…Shitty.  Never mind.

    Agent Provocateur fist bumping nude male

    Basically to predict things 100 years into the future, remember, a synthesis of a product or idea emerges.  Then as time passes, the surrounding environment changes and the antithesis of these ideas come to fruition. As time further passes, an antithesis of the antithesis of the original synthesis is synthesized.  Tracking?  Don’t worry.   This can be reduced to the idea that 100 years into the future things are so back asswards, any original idea will be completely bastardized.

     

     

     

     
     
     
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