Top 5 Things You Can Do with 7,000 Stolen Wii U Consoles
1. Hook up the 7,000 stolen Wii U consoles and build your own “Seizure Room”
2. Bury the Wii U consoles with the thousands of Lynx consoles you stole two decades ago
3. Donate the Stolen Wii U consoles to Toys for Tots and watch as thousands of impoverished children get arrested for theft
4. Duct-tape all of the stolen Wii U drives together and call it an “upgrade in Wii hardware,” just like Nintendo does
5. Fence the stole Wii U consoles to that mysteriously jolly man with a belly like a bowl full of jelly, who always wants to buy up all your hot electronics this time of year.
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