• by Evan Hoovler
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December 4, 2012 at 8:47 am

1. The Air Jordans make loud farting noises every time its wearer tries to manage a basketball team

2. Air Jordans allow the wearer to be resistant to A.I.D.S. during extramarital affairs

3. Pump in back of the Air Jordans allows user to fly away from child-support demanding mothers

4. Base of Air Jordans adds ten inches to wearer’s height

5. Button on side of Air Jordans dispenses spritzes of whatever cologne Jordan is hawking

Full story, here

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