Top 5 Reasons Replacing the Dollar Bill with a Coin Would Ruin Our Lives
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1. People could hit us with their wallet when we are mugging them, that’s how replacing the dollar bill with a coin would ruin our lives
2. A coin purse is a real turn-off on a stripper. That’s not even a vagina metaphor
3. Life-crippling fear of the likeness of John Adams is why replacing the dollar bill with a coin would ruin our lives
4. Our counterfeiting operation will have to start with $5s, quintupling our overhead
5. Can no longer feel filthy rich with just a dollar bill and a bowel movement
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