Top 5 Ways 5-Hour Energy Drink Can Kill You

 
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    November 15, 2012 at 9:48 am

    5 hour energy

    1. Due to E=mc squared, drinking too many causes your weight to skyrocket until you become a black hole

    2. Getting gunned down by police by going on an extra-strength 5-hour rampage after downing half a bottle

    3. You light yourself on fire trying to freebase and smoke 5-Hour Energy Drink

    4. Someone slips a knockout pill in your shot, and your brain explodes from simultaneously being energized and de-energized

    5. The bull run you are taking part in somehow lasts 6 hours

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