Top 5 Reasons Using a Holiday Inn Express as a Prison Is a Bad Idea
1. Serving their continental breakfast constitutes an additional human rights violation
2. The place gets raided by police like twice a day
3. Most rooms have weapons stashed by previous occupants
4. The paper thin walls are no match for one of those enormously heavy chairs
5. You can post two armed guards outside, but the maids are still going to misunderstand and open the door to see if anyone needs towels
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