Top 5 Issues We Care about Most This Election
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1. Which candidate will crack down and launch a war on superstorm hurricanes?
2. If I managed to clone myself 250 million times, will there be an infrastructure in place to keep me from swinging the 2030 election?
3. Who will have the most compelling accompanying reality TV series?
4. Who would I find most funny being impersonated on sketch comedy shows?
5. Who best represents me, the murderous loner with an explosives-laden shack in the Everglades?
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