• by Evan Hoovler
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September 21, 2012 at 7:27 am

1. Steve Jobs “Foolproof” app cures cancer using just your phone

2. Instead of saying “I don’t understand,” Siri assumes you want pictures of gay porn

3. Wallpaper is a picture of the underage orphan who assembled the phone, to promote feelings of superiority

4. Every time you try to run Java it shocks you as a friendly, Pavlovian reminder

5. Free monitoring by the federal government and (we assume) really bored aliens

Full story, here

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