5 New Healthcare Plans the President Will Use to Replace Obamacare
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1. Homosexual Hair Care: Mitt Romney personally cuts every gay person’s hair
2. Amateur Universal Healthcare: The person sitting in the cubicle to your right will be your free doctor
3. All Placebo Healthcare: Convincing actors dressed as doctors give everyone treatments
4. Bill Clinton Healthcare: If you’re feeling ill, a homely lady will give you a lapdance
5. Emergency Room Universal Health Care: Treatment is available for all, but patients must sit for 16 hours in a waiting room to prove they really want it

