• by Evan Hoovler
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June 20, 2012 at 8:02 am

Because they did, yesterday

1. Trains covered with vomit as commuters no longer able to suppress the smell of each other with burning tobacco

2. Surgeon general will declare smoky men’s rooms the #1 source of lung cancer

3. Vietnamese will begin to notice there’s no food

4. Vietcong war tunnels will be converted into cramped smoking lounges

5. The value of chewing tobacco in prisons skyrockets past cigarettes

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