Top 5 Reasons Violent Brawls Break out at Soccer Matches
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1. Visiting fans get violently drunk and angry when local laws prohibit their toddlers from buying beer
2. Cramming thousands of racially-opposed people into a small stadium isn’t the harmonizer officials thought it would be
3. Plans to have sides resolve tensions through a breakdancing battle failed to gain popularity
4. Anger boils over concerning repressed suspicions that soccer just isn’t that entertaining
5. Fans angry that other countries can actually afford a soccer ball
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